Hunkered Down
I’ve been shut out of the
Historical Society for days now. No, my membership did not lapse. I’ve been shut out as a result of the virus
attack. You know, the COVID-19
virus. The first thing I will do when it reopens is to suggest to the staff that they eliminate any references to geographic or
ethnic adjectives on past pandemics. You
know, “Spanish” flu is an insulting term to those of Hispanic origin. Also, many get the name confused with Spanish fly. Likewise using the term “German” measles
caused sauerkraut sales to plummet at Renninger's Market. MERS
is insulting to those living in the Middle East and Lyme disease is insulting
to those from Connecticut. Rocky
Mountain Spotted Fever places a stigma on anyone owning a John Denver record. I own one, it’s called “Please Daddy (Don’t Get
Drunk on Christmas)." Its playing right
now as you read this. Take a listen: THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER WRITTEN.
Meanwhile, I am hunkered
down in my fallout shelter that my family dug in the early 1960s. I am trying to
pass the time. We stored away lots of
food and vital supplies that have been untouched for years; for instance cases of Mount
Carbon Bavarian beer, beer bologna and Mootz chocolates. Did you know that every Mootz peanut roll has
exactly 38 small pieces of peanut attached? Probably not. However, I have lots of time on my hands
now. Also, you probably did not know
that Necho Allen, the discoverer of anthracite coal, also created the recipe
for coal candy. I plan to take the tiny metal
buckets that held its precious cargo to the recycling center once the coast is clear. For now I use them as ash trays. Luckily I stored cartons of cigarettes away and I don't have to read the stupid Surgeon General Warnings on them.
Looking around the
shelter, I have quite a collection of county memorabilia. Did you know that the first eye chart in the
county used Pennsylvania Dutch colorful lettering, but which spelled out an
off-color word? I have one of
those. Its hanging on my fallout shelter
wall. I read it aloud now and Mammie gets a chuckle out of it. We are a
safe six feet distance from each other.
Coincidentally that is the same distance we’ve been keeping for the past twenty
years.
I have many old
newspapers and magazines down here that I dusted off that relate to Schuylkill
County. Back in 1962, the headline of the
Pottsville Republican was that the borough of Mount Carbon was considering
merging with Roadside America. Luckily, that
never happened. Roadside America is now
gone but, thank God, we still are blessed with Mount Carbon.
I dusted off an old mechanical
science book on the first elevator installed in the Thompson Building. Astonishingly, for years it only went
up. Another rare book I have down here
is on the secret society known as “the Mollie Maguires.” Most people don’t realize that the original
name was going to be “the Mary Margaret Maguires,” but the 3M Company
threatened a lawsuit.
Mamie is reading an old newspaper from the early 1960’s with an in-depth investigative report
on superior court Judge G. Harold Watkins.
She was surprised to learn that his favorite Disney character was really
Donald Duck. That blew my mind! Sadly, the press doesn’t do investigative reporting
anymore. In the same issue there is an
interesting historical article on the 1898 Spelling Bee when it was raided by the Pottsville vice
squad after the word petticoat was said aloud to a young female contestant.
So much time on my hands,
with this pandemic. Luckily for the
county this disease was called the coronavirus and not the yuenglingvirus. Then we would be up the creek without a paddle. I know and I pray that we will recover and
Schuylkill County economically will get back on its knees where it was before
the outbreak.
Now back to my old newspapers and magazines. I am reading that the biggest fear that county residents had years ago, was not about catching a virus, but rather getting accousted by Vulcans trying to sell them Winter Carnival Buttons.
My times have changed.
