"It is the east, and Joliett is the sun"

Looking for a romantic getaway that is not too far away? Why not Joliett, located in Porter Township? Most of you probably are unaware that this romantic rural community was named after the better half of those two famous ill-fated Shakespearian lovers featured in a recent Leonardo DiCaprio movie. I am talking about Romeo and Joliett and the village named after the latter is easy to get to. Just hop on your all terrain vehicle and head west when you leave Tremont.
Much of the film’s tragic love story takes place in the west end of Schuylkill County. The story centers on a feud between rival factions of one warring family. I think the feud has something to do with a Rumpf Match that went haywire. During this Rumpf Match, Romeo falls in love with Joliett, a fifteen year old second cousin which enrages the bartender, Escalus, who wants to hook-up with Joliett also.
What happens next is anyone’s guess, as the film is in authentic Pennsylvania Dutch and those English sub-titles move too fast for my nearsightedness, especially when multi-tasking with my buttered popcorn. In the end the tragic couple heads over to Hegins where Joliett is struck down by stray bullet by a participant in the annual shoot who mistakes her for a pigeon when her feet turn inward as she walks towards the funnel cake stand. Romeo then hooks up with Lady Capulet, the manager of the funnel cake stand, who had come to Joliett’s assistance. Romeo and Capulet live together happily for a few weeks, surviving on the profits from the funnel cake stand, her child support payments as well as Romeo’s black lung check. Meanwhile, the grief-stricken townspeople name a village after the fallen heroine.
So much for the story of Joliett.
I highly recommend a Valentine Weekend visit with your significant other to this quaint village. It will certainly get your heart pumping. Yes, you can stroll hand in hand at the edge of a scenic coal bank or illegal dumping site, or sip Porter Ale at the nearby Pick ‘n Shovel bistro, or take off your overalls and boots to soak in an ash tub layered with rose petals in one of the several bed and breakfasts.
Joliett and romance have been synonymous forever and you will discover why. You'll think for a minute that you've been caught in a time warp or you are on a movie set and that you and your love are the now stars of the show. Make sure to take lots of pictures to prove that you really were in Joliett.
If you are interested in a candlelight dinner for two (or three or four if you really want to spice things up) then Joliett is the place to dine, as it is world renowned for its appetizing tastes of Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine, such as sumptuous pig’s stomach finished off with lip smacking Shoofly pie desserts. Having a little wet bottom shoofly will certainly be appropriate to start off your Valentine’s Day evening.

Yes if you are in love (or maybe you just want the little lady to think that you are in love) then come to Joliett and you will go home with memories that will keep "that lovin feeling" alive for years to come. Picturesque Joliett is simply a delight; one of the most attractive towns that give you an instant vivacious feeling of love and romance – as if Cupid just hit you in the behind with one of his arrows. I guarantee you that just one visit to Joliett is a more powerful aphrodisiac than any of the drugs now on the market, with or without a prescription. In fact, if the sensation you get lasts for more than four hours, you should seek immediate medical attention to avoid long term injury.

Remember, the village of Joliett, nestled in the hills of Porter Township, is sure to have a lasting impression on you forever. It did for Mammy and me and someone we met online.

"Good Night,Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,

that I shall say good night till it be morrow. Now pass the shoofly pie."

- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Joliett, 2.2

Leap Year Day

If you did not now it by now, 2008 is a “leap year.” That means an extra day of winter this year just as the groundhog predicted. “Why leap years?” you ask. Just as cars and spines need periodic adjustments, so does the earth. Our calendar needs to be kept in sync with the earth’s motion around the sun. A guest lecturer at the Pottsville Planetarium stated that without the leap years being added periodically, all of our days would get jumbled up, our television shows would appear at the wrong times, and the earth would be propelled out of its normal orbit around the sun and slowly drift off towards Pluto.
You probably thought that leap years occurred every four years to coincide with the Schuylkill County Senior Olympics. How wrong you are. Not about the Senior Olympics but about the raison d’etre of leap years. I came up with this handy Leap Year Guide to help you:
1. Every year divisible by 4 is a leap year. 2008 is divisible by 4, producing the number 502.
2. Forget Rule #1 if the year is divisible by 100. 2008 is not, so remember rule #1.
3. Forget Rule #2 if the year that is divisible by 100 is also divisible by 400. For example, the year 2000 is divisible by 4 making it a leap year. But it is divisible by 100, so it is disqualified and not a leap year. However, Rule #3 once again makes it a leap year as it is divisible by 400. (Pss…the correct answer is 500).
4. The extra day that a leap year gains is traditionally February 29th. The reasons are obvious as the month got short-changed to begin with. Also most people enjoy having one extra day of winter rather than summer.
5. At the stroke of midnight on February 28th everyone must turn his or her clocks back 24 hours. Or suffer the consequences of having the clocks explode.
6. Forget Rule #5 if you still use a sundial. Sundials are generally frozen to the ground in late February.
7. “Even” decades have three leap years in them, while “odd” decades have two leap years in them. I questioned this one as the 1960s was the oddest of decades but it had three leap years.
8. February 29th is referred to as “Sadie Hawkins’ Day” in Joliett, where the women get to marry anyone (man or woman) they can get their hands on. Other parts of the county celebrates it on November 15th.
9. Singers Dinah Shore and Ja Rule are the two most widely known leap year babies in the free world. These two singers made popularized our beloved “gangster rap” music with the likes of “Holla Holla", "It's Murda, "World's Most Dangerous,” "Shoo-Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy", and "Buttons and Bows." Sadly, Ms. Shore passed away but Ja Rule is still alive with the help of numerous body guards. Before her death, Dinah and Ja Rule did collaborate on one Leap Year Tribute album, aptly titled “Buttons and ‘Ho’s.” It is available at Renninger’s Market.
10. Jimmy Dorsey is the most famous Schuylkill County leap year baby. The anniversary of the big band leader will go by largely unnoticed. Schuylkill County likes to honor former school board or water authority directors. He does not fit in those categories. Many believe Jimmy Dorsey was the twin brother of Tommy Dorsey, but they are wrong. Romulus and Remus, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, and Chang and Eng Bunker are twins but not the Dorseys.
May you and your family have a joyous, healthy and prosperous Leap Day.

P.S. Stay out of Joliett until the day is over.