The Definitive History of Pottsville Winter Carnival

                                           The Definitive History of Pottsville Winter Carnival 

1888 – Blizzard hits Schuylkill County. Winter Carnival is born when two men shovel Market Street for the first time and crowd gathers to watch.

1899 – Winter Carnival Parade now features Third Brigade Band, beer wagon, two horses and a fire truck; first theme “Let’s Party Like It’s 1899.”

1900- Moustache defrosting is first competition event.  

1901 – Winter Carnival King frees the serfs; long underwear arrives from Tamaqua.

1905 - the first telemarketer phone call in Pottsville asks “do you want to buy a button?”

1910- Steam heat under Market St.allows for sub-zero parades to continue for decades.

1916 – The first Vulcan arrives in Pottsville, terrorized citizenry hide.

1917 – Interfaith Council preach against “the sinister influence of Vulcans on our Youth.”

1918 – Unity Day in city calms fears of Vulcans settling in the county.

1919 – Women permitted to participate in Winter Carnival after years of demonstrating.

1920 – “Spanish Flu” deemed worst Winter Carnival theme of all time.

1921- First Winter Carnival Queen Contest held at the Hippodrome Theatre.

1925 – Yuengling Ice Cream sponsors the first Telegraph Night.

1926- Pottsville curling team cheated out of title for violating franchise territorial rules when it competed in New Philadelphia by accident, thinking it was Cumbola.

1927- John O’Hara publishes fictionalized version of Winter Carnival, “Appointment in Jalappa” out of bitterness for being turned down as a Vulcan; Pottsville scandalized.

1932 – Prohibition ends. Yuengling Brewery now sponsors Radio Night and Carnival becomes a lot more fun even though it’s quite a depression outside.

1936 – Winter Carnival King abdicates his throne to marry the woman he loves.

1937- Hair pulling competition banned from Winter Carnival Snowflake Princess Pageant for being “unlady-like.”

1941- World War II results in Winter Carnival parade floats being pulled by dog teams to conserver gasoline.

1942 – One million old buttons collected for war effort at Wiener’s in Mount Carbon.

1943 –The high-pitched dialect of Vulcans is used by Defense Department to relay unbreakable secret commands during the war.

1944 – Carnival mascot Pottsie Ottsie mistakenly arrested by FBI, released after proving he was not the notorious Pottsie Nazi saboteur.

1945 – Germany surrenders after Berlin bombarded by one million carnival buttons.

1950 – high birth rate of boomer babies results in Little Miss Snowdrop Contest.

1955 – Congressional hearings in Washington focus on alleged subversive Winter Carnival Polka Night activities; accordion players from Minersville refuse to answer questions and are blacklisted from Yok Tom Billy Urban radio show.

1957 –Iced Tea Night sponsored by local business is guered to the young.

1958 – Hula Hoop competition added as event amid protests from some that hoops are too small for the average county waistline.

1959 – Queen contestants no longer have to answer final question in pig latin.

1961 – Moustache Defrosting dropped as an event and replaced with fifty mile walk in the snow after JFK issues a challenge.

1965- Pottsville Ski Lodge opened by the von Tropp Family.

1966- Frankie Fontaine, the character who played the “Crazy Guggenheim” character on the Jackie Gleason Show attends Winter Carnival and says that he “fits right in and feels at home.” Crowds go wild.

1967 –“Winter of love.” Snowball fight ceases between City and Port Carbon.

1968 – King of the Carnival proclaims that he is more popular than coach Tubby Allen and the late Mayor Claude A. Lord combined, resulting boycotts and rioting.

1969 – “The White Button” is released by Carnival Committee with nothing on it.

1972 – Steam Heat Plant shuts down, parade trudges through snow filled Market Street with parade taking an unprecedented eighteen hours to complete; Five marching mummers are never found.

1973 – Pottsville’s new wider sidewalks allow more people of girth to watch parade.

1975 – “Swine Flu Shot” theme misses mark, worst theme since “Dutch Elm Disease.”

1979 – Only floats with odd-numbered license plates permitted to participate due to oil crisis. President Jimmy Carter laments about the mayonnaise while speaking at the Catholic War Veterans Lodge.

1980 –Despite the county’s high elderly population, Miss Slush contest vetoed.

1981 – Urine tests mandated by the city’s Surgeon General at all Winter Carnival events for no particular reason.

1984 – Nancy Reagan grand marshal of Parade with theme of “Just Say Snow.”

1985 – All athletic events cancelled until further notice by proclamation of the Pottsville Surgeon General who urges everyone to just stay home and play video games.

1987 – President Reagan appears at Carnival Coronation and urges the Mayor to “tear down this ball.” Instead the city demolishes Garfield School.

1994- Wonderbra controversy overshadows Carnival.

1995 – von Tropp family flee city by crossing over Sharp Mountain in the dead of night; skiing outlawed within city limits.  

1996 – Blizzard forces cancellation of synchronized skating competition at Norwegian Creek near the Trailways bus station.

1998- Pottsville narrows its sidewalks disenfranchising hundreds of  people of girth (politically correct term for fat people).

1999 – Theme of “Party Like Its 1899 1999” rejuvenates Carnival.

2000 – Y2K virus outbreak. Pong machine at Club 18 explodes.

2001 – Discrimination lawsuit is settled and Moustache Defrosting reintroduced as popular sporting.  Victory for women who are now allowed to participate.

2006 – Mayor announces construction of multi-million dollar Intermodal Building to house both Winter Carnival memorabilia and unsold buttons.

2009- Ban on body-piercing and tattoos for Miss Snowdrop competition outrages some helicopter mothers;

2011 – Wilhelmina Payne releases memoirs, “A Payneful Look Back on the Winter Carnival” and SanSon Productions buy movie rights for undisclosed sum.

2016- Donald Trump attends Carnival and promises to build a snow wall and make Orwigsburg pay for it saying it will stop the out-migration from Pottsville.

2018- Confirmation of Carnival Judge held up after accusation of misconduct during Carnival Polka Night in 1970 comes to light.  Judge confirmed anyway.

2019- Winterfest comes to Second Street!  Good Intent Fire Department assist 47 people that had lips frozen to metal beer cups.

THE LIFE AND TRAGIC DEATH OF POTTSIE OTTSIE

Dear Mr. Trout:

 I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there was Pottsie Ottsie.  My mother’s latest boyfriend said that if you see it on the "Beansoup for the Soul" website then its so. Please tell me the truth; was there a Pottsie Ottsie?

                                               Virginia

Your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. How dreary would be Schuylkill County have been if there was no Pottsie Ottsie. Virginia, Pottsie Ottsie was the Greater Pottsville Winter Carnival mascot for many years, during a time when Pottsville’s citizens actually held jobs and cleaned up after themselves and their property.    Don’t be frightened Virginia. Those people actually seemed to enjoy holding jobs and cleaning up after themselves and keeping their property neat and tidy - horrible as it may sound to you and to me.  Virginia, be grateful for the safety net that you have now which allows you to avoid holding a job, or taking care of yourself or your property and guarantees you a disability check for your ergophobia ("fear of the workplace") as well as subsidized apartment.

 Known to his friends as Ottsie, he was a snowman of mixed heritage. His father, Frederic, was Teutonic and his mother, Rita, was Italian ice; he was born in Yorkville during a blizzard when Yorkville was an independent duchy.  His birth name was Otto von Mieswinkel.  He attended the Yorkville Elementary School and was proud to be one of the first snowmen to do so.  His high school years were uneventful, although he was King of the Christmas prom for all four years. After graduation, he attempted to join the service but was labelled 4-F for having cold feet and an undescended snow ball.

He went to work for the "The Pottsville Ice and Cold Storage Company” on East Railroad Street.  He worked there for years and eventually learned everything about ice -   cube, cracked, shaved and block. He knew it all. His knowledge of ice made him a hit with Pottsville’s cocktail lounge circuit where ice was very important.  He was a snowman about town, either at the Necho Allen Tap Room, the Leiderkrantz or the Yorkville Hose House.  It was Ottsie that taught all of the city’s bartenders how important that crushed ice was for mint juleps, despite what they teach you in school. He soon ended up with a bevy of girlfriends. All princesses if you catch my drift. Most found his button nose irresistible, although one thought it was abominable but overlooked it.

It was at the Pottsville Ski Lodge that Otto met up with the Winter Carnival founding mothers and fathers.  He offered them glitz and glamour as well as a steady stream of ice for their cocktails.  In return they offered him fame and fortune for being the mascot. 

 Thus, he was renamed "Pottsie Ottsie." A star was born.

Things went well until Carnival fell on hard times due to the gas shortages; many floats would be abandoned along the parade route.  Finger-pointing began and they all pointed to Pottsie Ottsie.  He would look at them with his two eyes made out of coal and deny any responsibility but it appeared that his days were numbered.  Many believed that Pottsie was a bit of a flake and that the city needed a more recognizable mascot.  They began to push a certain leprechaun who had the right family connections.  Soon the city was torn apart. Half wanted Ottsie to stay, half wanted Ottsie out.   The Pottsville Riot Police were often called to dispel the demonstrators with many notable citizens picking sides.

Soon Pottsie Ottsie went on WPPA and stunned the listening audience. “I leave you gentleman now. You will now write it; you will interpret it; that's your right. But as I leave you I want you to know.... just think how much you're going to be missing. You don't have Ottsie to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference.”

From then on Pottsie Ottsie was given the cold shoulder. He slid into obscurity, hitting the chilly sauce at various gin joints, getting into snowball fights, and leading a life of debauchery. Not necessarily in that order. Things got so bad that he was seen running here and there, all around the square saying “Catch me if you can.”   

After being diagnosed as bi-polar (Arctic and Antarctic), his three involuntary commitments in 5-P didn’t seem to help.   

His last years were spent in a small room at the William Penn Hotel on East Norwegian Street.   While reports were given to the desk clerk of a strange "thumpity, thump, thump" coming from his room, no one checked on him. Some said he was dead for some time, as all that remained was a puddle, a button nose, two eyes made of coal and a corn cob pipe. 

DNA testing years later, performed by Pottsville’s esteemed surgeon general, confirmed the large puddle to be the remains of Pottsie Ottsie.

There would be no public ceremony, only a simple funeral. His grave stone epitaph at the old Saint John's Cemetery, on Bunker Hill,  simply reads "a jolly, happy soul."

Pottsville has been without a mascot ever since, and it shows.

Virginia, while he may have evaporated, Pottsie Ottsie still lives in our hearts. I hope he continues to live in yours.

 

 

 

Why the Winter Carnival Queen Should Abdicate

Dear trout:

I am sympathetic to the Occupy Pottsville movement. However what gives with your demand that the Winter Carnival Queen abdicate her throne? I never saw such anger since the Shah of Iran was deposed or when the Maroons football championship title was revoked.

Royal Watcher

Dear Royal Watcher:

Neither the Winter Carnival Queen, nor the snowflake princesses, nor the snowdrop junior princesses represents county womenhood anymore. Sadly, the Queen has lost touch with reality. Why, you ask? First of all, if you follow the contest show me one obese contestant. I knew it. You can’t. Not one. Nada. Zippo.

What kind of message is this sending to the young plump girls who, right now, as you read this, are sitting on sofas, eating family-sized bags of barbecued Marsden potato chips and drinking liter bottles of mountain dew while watching Jersey Shore on TV and simultaneously chatting away on facebook and Myspace…telling the world what they like and dislike about Snookie? Don’t we owe them something for this multi=tasking?

Last summer at a Tuesday evening JFK Pool splash party, I stood up on a picnic table at the concession stand, trying my best to organize some of the heftiest middle-school girls to put down the family-sized bags of barbequed Marsden potato chips for at least an hour. I wanted them to rise up and overthrow the royal court. I gave a rally cry to storm the Winter Palace (which incidentally serves as the Catholic War Veterans Post during the off-winter month) but no one listened to me. In fact they were rather rude and told me to put down the bull horn and get off the table or they would smash the royal jewels and throw me over the fence.

Secondly, no contestant have been permitted to appear in the pageant wearing low-cut tank tops with short torn boxer shorts with the word “juicy” or “lager” on the backside with revealing, brightly colored thongs. Again, the Winter Carnival Committee is living in la-la land. They just don’t seem to get it anymore. They don’t seem to realize that many of our county’s shallow, materialistic young girls spend lots of money on these over-priced small pieces of threads, woven in third world countries which are passed off as “clothing” to the consumers who desire to express themselves.

Don’t we want to encourage self-expression and free them of the stifling dress codes hoisted upon them by the Carnival Committee. Again, what kind of message are the trying to send? I say that these clothes, which were good enough for my daughter to wear to her eighth grade prom, are good enough to be worn in Carnival competition. I recently wrote to Ms. Payne of the Carnival Committee and suggested that she get the DVD box set of Jersey Shore and then reconsider the dress code requirements.

I never got a response!

Thirdly, the talent competition is bor-ring… How many times must we listen to the Oscar Meyer theme song or watch Irish clog dancing? Aren't we all just sick of Irish clog dancing? Wouldn’t a pierogie eating contest be more exhilarating to watch? Wouldn’t it be more nostalgic; bringing back memories of the now defunct Pierogie Bowl held in the past every February? If that is unacceptable, then maybe a wings eating contest.

Fourthly, the question and answer sessions are bor---ring and time consuming. Since it is a Winter Carnival - not a Spring, Summer or Autumn Festival - the only question that should be asked of the young women should be weather-related.

My suggestion is that one short question, such as “How cold is it?” be asked to each and every contestant and the answer must be in one sentence only. For example: “How cold is it?” “It’s so cold that Mitt Romney changed his name to Mitten Romney,” “It’s so cold that I chipped my tooth on a frozen Marsden potato chip,” “It’s so cold that my torn boxer shorts are made out of flannel,” “It’s so cold that Bill Clinton thought that Hillary just walked into the room.” This would move the contest along at a rapid pace and it could finish well before its allotted eight hours. Much more interesting than listening to their aspirations and desires for peace and the elimination of hunger in the world. Speaking of hunger, I could use a Marsden potato chip right now.

None of my suggestions were acceptable to the Carnival Committee and that is why the Queen must abdicate her throne and the Winter Carnival governed by a people’s tribunal.

trout

The Concise History of the Greater Pottsville Winter Carnival

1888 – Blizzard hits Schuylkill County. Winter Carnival is born when men shovel off Market Street to cheering crowd; the first telemarketer phone call in Schuylkill County asks “do you want to buy a button?”
1899 – Winter Carnival Parade features Third Brigade Band, beer wagon, two horses and a fire truck; first carnival theme - “Party Like It’s 1899.”
1900- Moustache defrosting, first competition event.
1901 – Winter Carnival King frees the serfs; long underwear arrives by train from Tamaqua.
1910- Steam heat under Market Street created allowing for sub-zero parades to continue for decades.
1916 – The first Vulcan appears in Pottsville landing by space craft; terrorized citizenry hide.
1917 – Interfaith Council preach against “the sinister influence of Vulcans on our Youth.”
1918 – Unity Day in city calms fears of Vulcans settling in the county.
1919 – Women permitted to participate in Winter Carnival after passage of 19th Amendment.
1920 – “Spanish Flu” deemed worst Winter Carnival theme of all time.
1921- First Winter Carnival Queen Contest held at the Hippodrome Theatre.
1925 – Yuengling Ice Cream sponsors the first Radio Night on WPPA.
1932 – Prohibition ends. Yuengling Brewery now sponsors Radio Night and Carnival becomes a lot more fun even though it’s a Depression outside.
1936 – Winter Carnival King abdicates his throne to marry the woman he loves.
1937- Hair pulling competition banned from Winter Carnival Snowflake Princess Pageant for being “unlady-like.”
1941- World War II results in Winter Carnival parade floats being pulled by dog teams to conserver gasoline.
1942 – One million buttons collected for war effort; Many Vulcans are drafted and replaced by Vulcanettes who are either women or female impersonators.
1943 – Vulcan high-pitched dialect used by Defense Department to relay unbreakable commands during the war.
1944 – Carnival Mascot Pottsie Ottsie mistakenly arrested by FBI, released after proving he was not the notorious Axis Power sabateur, Pottsie Nottsie.
1945 – Germany surrenders after being bombarded by one million carnival buttons.
1950 – high birth rate of boomer babies results in Little Miss Snowdrop Contest.
1955 – McCarthy hearings in Washington focus on Winter Carnival Polka Night subversive activities; accordion players from Minersville refuse to answer questions and are blacklisted.
1957 – Iced Tea Night sponsored by local business is guered to the young.
1958 – Hula Hoop competition added as event amid protests from some that the hoops are too small for the average county waistline.
1959 – Contestants no longer have to answer questions in pig latin.
1961 – Moustache Defrosting dropped as an event and replaced with fifty mile walk in the snow after JFK challenges the city to put down their hoops and put on snow shoes.
1965- Pottsville Ski Lodge opened by the von Tropp Family. Skiing added as an event.
1966- Frankie Fontaine, the character who played the “Crazy Guggenheim” character on the Jackie Gleason Show attends Winter Carnival and says that he “fits right in and feels at home.”
1967 – Peace reigns in Pottsville during the so-called “winter of love.” Snowball fighting treaty is signed between City and Port Carbon.
1968 – King of Vulcans proclaims that he is more popular than both Jesus Christ and Mayor Close combined; snow ball fights break out throughout county.
1972 – Steam Heat Plant shuts down, parade trudges through snow filled Market Street with parade taking an unprecedented eighteen hours to complete; Five marching mummers are never found.
1975 – “Swine Flu” theme features frosted pig catching competition outside of Farmer’s Market; Monsignor Boyle performs exorcism on person possessed by Vulcans.
1979 – Attendance dramatically drops off at parade. Only floats with odd-numbered license plates permitted to participate. President Jimm Carter laments about the mayonnaise at the Catholic War Veterans Lodge.
1981 – County’s high elderly population results in creation of Miss Slush Contest.
1982 – Urine tests mandated by the city’s Surgeon General at all Winter Carnival Events “just for the fun of it.”
1984 – Nancy Reagan grand marshal of Parade with theme of “Just Say Snow.”
1985 – all athletic events are permanently cancelled by proclamation of the Pottsville Surgeon General who urges everyone to stay home and play video games.
1987 – President Reagan appears at Carnival Coronation and urges the Master of Ceremonies to “tear down this ball.” Instead the city demolishes Garfield School.
1994 – Wonderbra controversy overshadows Carnival; President Clinton signs NAFTA; all vulcan outfits now made in China.
1995 – von Tropp family flees city by crossing over Sharp Mountain in the dead of night;. Ski Lodge closes permanently; skiing outlawed within city limits along with skateboarding and moustache defrosting.
1997 - Vice President Gore predicts global warming will end Carnival "as we know it."
2000 – Theme of “Party Like Its 1999” rejuvenates Carnival.
2001 – Mysterious puddle found in downtown rooming house; DNA results confirm puddle to be the remains of Pottsie Ottsie.
2006 – Mayor announces construction of multi-million dollar Intermodal Building to house Winter Carnival memorabilia, unsold buttons and a vial of the Pottsie Ottsie puddle.
2010 – Body piercing and tattooing rejected for Little Miss Snowflake contestants in close 7-6 decision of Winter Carnival Committee, irate single parents storm out of the meeting;
2011 – Wilhelmina Payne releases memoirs, “A Payneful Look Back On the Winter Carnival.” Sam-Son Productions buys movie rights for an undisclosed sum.

Winter Traditions must be preserved

Over the years Pottsville had many big blizzards and with them comes a whole new set of social behavior rules. This year the it appears that the rules, like so many other traditions, are are being forgotten.
The most fundamental rule to remember is that you have the right of seasonal ownership of a parking space achieved by digging and shoveling. In Pottsville, this property right to claim a part of a public street is sacred. It is often compared to our right to bear arms. You know, the Second Commandment as written in the Torah that was given to Moses as played by Charlton Heston.
Like most rights, the government does have a few regulations to keep things orderly. For instance, to perfect one’s claim, a photograph of the spot must be on file at the Street Department, with a short filled out form, and a payment of a five dollar fee. Voila! You now have the exclusive right to that designated area until Easter Sunday. It is yours and no one else’s. God help any poor soul who inadvertently backs into “your spot.” But to keep bloodshed to a minimum, you must protect your newly acquired territory by the placement of a chair. This is not as simple as it sounds. Sociologists have come from around the world to study the “chair placing habits of Pottsvillians.”
“If dogs resemble their owners, then the street chairs resemble their Pottsville owners.” For instance, in front of churches, one can see pews or kneelers between the snow piles to protect parking spots for parishioners. Yes, and bar stools are common in front of the various pubs; commodes in front of the plumbers’ homes; barber and shiatsu massage chairs in front of the hair salons. I know I don’t have to tell you what type of chair the dentists display?

What chair would represent you or your occupation, lifestyle or personality? I often see a lot of wide lazy boy recliners on the streets. What is that saying about us as a society? Maybe a few weight benches or palatte machines would project a healthier image to the rest of the world that exists outside of Pottsville.
In the historical district, some chairs will be of the “early American” while others are dilapidated and torn chairs with legs removed. Those are the chairs of the numerous absentee property owners. Around the retirement homes, the chairs generally tend to be of the rocking, wheel or lift variety; while the young and hip - Pottsville has two of them at last count, by the way - place beanbag chairs on the streets. Newlyweds and newly shack-ups naturally drag loveseats outside. Young single moms are identified by the highchairs and potties in the streets. All in all, during a snowstorm Pottsville becomes a panoramic showplace of seats, couches, davenports, benches, settees, gliders, futons, stools, ottomans, and sofas.

"It is the common thread that binds us Pottsvillians together as one people."
To recognize and honor this important role that household furnishings play in the winter history of the streets of Pottsville, the city has developed an appreciation award that is presented during Carnival. The competition for this coveted award becomes very fierce. This year the winner was an inmate at the county prison. Prisoner #587. He walked away (no pun intended) with the grand prize by creating a replica of the legendary electric chair, “Old Sparky” which was placed outside of the prison to reverse a spot for his old lady who visits him every Tuesday and Thursday.

The Winter Carnivore Parade

I had a strange dream last night after eating too many halupkies. Luckily I took two Tums and was able to get some undisturbed sleep.....



I have attended many county parades over the past decades but my all time favorite was the Greater Pottsville Area Winter Carnivore Parade. You know - the parade that paid tribute to our meat eating heritage. Yes, on the coldest day in January our county seat celebrated the joys of animal protein.
Why have a parade in January many would ask. Ha! The answer is obvious: most of the carnivore floats were made from meat and meat by-products; the cold weather kept spoilage to a minimum. Think of it as a Tournament of Roses with ham, beef and pork instead of the flowers. In fact our Parade was ten times better than the Pasadena parade since flowers can’t be eaten after the parade. Although January required cheerleaders and majorettes to wear long johns and galoshes, the meat kept from spoiling; that was more important.
The parade featured the area butchers, meat packers and deli clerks, all marching in unison. In addition, many county bands participated, playing all your favorite classic meat music, such as “Cheeseburger in Paradise,” ”Jambalaya,” “I Want to Hold Your Ham,” “Who Stole the Kieshka?” and “I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Wiener.” One memorable moment was back in 1971 when the PAHS Kilties played a bagpipe tribute to “Haggis,” the Scottish national dish of boiled stuffed sheep stomach. Boy, the crowds went wild and the city sold out of haggis within hours that year.
Of course, we cannot forget about all the spectacular floats, designed and paid for by the various restaurants – the Woolworth’s Lunch Counter, The Tap Room, Stop N Go, Joyce’s Café, The Sugar Bowl, The Bus Terminal Restaurant, etc. Numerous churches and civic groups also participated. Almost thirty years ago the Moose Women’s Auxiliary had a clever float with a theme of “Frozen Gizzards, Scrapple and Tripe” which caught the fancy of all the judges. Those Moose women unexpectedly won their first Mayor’s Cup after defeating the heavily favored Yorkville Hose Company’s “Mackerel Breakfast” float. The latter was disqualified when a local monsignor insisted that seafood is not a meat dish. This 1980 victory is remembered as the “Miracle on Ice,” in Winter Carnivore and Pottsville folklore to this day.
We cannot forget the many different ethnic entries that made the judging so difficult. St. John the Baptist Church had a memorable entry with its “Der Wienerschnitzel.” St. Patrick’s Family Center had its float featuring “Boiled Bacon and Cabbage.” Another favorite was Trinity Episcopal’s float entitled, “Beef Wellington” which had the crowd guessing what was in the middle of the float. Of course, it was goose liver. Yes, each float gave a brief lesson in the history of animal protein consumption in the coal region. I still keep some of the pepperonis that were tossed off of the St. Joseph Church’s float as souvenirs of Winter Carnivore.
The Parade was truly a family affair. Having a parade on the coldest day of the year puts a strain on the automobiles and trucks that normally pull floats. As batteries lose half of their strength when the temperature dips to single digits, many vehicles just wouldn’t start up. The Carnivore Committee solved this problem by allowing cub scouts and brownies to pull the floats. It was perfectly safe as long as the children followed the simple rule to refrain from placing their lips and tongues on the exterior of any of the ice-cold metallic vehicles.
While pulling the truck floats the children would sing repeatedly the song “Four and Twenty Blackbirds baked in a Pie.” Mmm, just reminiscing has made my mouth water for some good old-fashioned blackbird pie.
I have never forgotten the Winter Carnivore parade. Have you?

The General's Top Ten

In 1997 the then Mayor of Pottsville circulated a petition requesting that our favorite son, General George Joulwan, relocate to his hometown of Pottsville after he retired. When the petition failed I tried to figure out why he should have selected Pottsville for his retirement homestead. I came up with ten reasons.The Pottsville Republican ran the list (but censored the last suggestion)but without comment, the General rejected everyone one of the reasons. I don't know why.

Top Ten Reasons General Joulwan should retire in Pottsville:

• Tanks will be permitted to participate in the Cruise Night Parade.


• The Mayor will cease his hunger strike if he agrees to return.


• Beetle Bailey, Sgt. Snorkel, and Steve Canyon cartoon cut-outs will be erected on Garfield Square during the Christmas season.


• He would be slam-dunk for title of "King of the Vulcans" or mascot "Pottsie Ottsie" during the Winter Carnival.


• Retired military will get a discount at the Joulwan Park "chip and putt."


• The roomy, vacant Yuengling Ice Cream Dairy across from the Brewery has a war-torn Bosnia feel to it, and therefore would be a perfect location to work on memoirs.


• The city needs real leadership if it wants to finally come out on top in the annual Pottsville-Port Carbon War Games.


• Only a former NATO commander is able to groom, discipline and whip the American Way May Fair attendees into shape.


• Rumor has it that an Army-Navy surplus store may reopen on Centre Street.


• While it may not be "Tail Hook," the Winter Carnival offers a great time to all that attend.