trout's mailbag: The Schuylkill Tripartite

             

Dear Mr. Trout:

I have heard the term “Schuylkill Tripartite” but do not know what it means? Do you? I thought it has something to do with toppings placed on a cheeseburger at Renningers Market.

   D.K.

  North of the Mountain

                                             

Dear D.K.:

The Schuylkill Tripartite is a rural legend that has been around for decades. 

It refers to one individual sweeping three of the major events held in Schuylkill County within one calendar year. 

It makes no difference if the calendar is Gregorian, Julian or Chinese.

 A hat trick to some, a triple crown to others, but the winner must win three.

  Legend has it that a county woman during the
 second world war gave birth to the new year baby
 while the father of the child was far away in the
Pacific on his way to Bora Bora. He was an 
anonymous sailor from Dauphin County, she was a
riveter at Eastern Steel.  They hooked up after a few 
drinks at the Circle Bar one lonely April night in 1942
 while the Andrews Sisters played on the juke box, if
 you really want to know.

The legend continued with her winning the Pottsville Cruise in a 1931 Opel but this victory was shrouded in controversy as  by the end of 1942 half of the U.S. automobiles were issued an “A sticker” which allowed only four gallons of gas per week.  This limited the number of cars in the cruise that year to only five, all driven by females as the Cruise regulars all joined the navy and were somewhere in the Pacific, near Bora Bora. Four of the drivers got lost along the way. Many criticized the winner for driving a german car, resulting in cabbage being hurled towards her (cabbage was called victory lettuce back then). This caused the new year baby, in the car seat, to get really fussy.

To make amends, she organized the County’s World War II Rubber Drive and she, by herself, collected one ton of old tires, rubber bands,  raincoats, rubber duckies, teethers, garden hoses, whoopee cushions, goulashes, rubber chickens, koosh balls, bathing caps, hot water bottles, balloons shaped like animals and rubber gloves (not necessarily in that order).  This was all done single-handedly, mind you, as she was holding the new year baby the entire time in her right arm.  That year, Schuylkill County collected more than any other county in the entire United States that year thanks to her. 

The Historical Society has photographs of the large pile of whoopee cushions being bundled for transport at the Union Station.  Every single whoopee cushion in the county was donated during this patriotic endeavor and 1943 will be forever remembered as the County's "quiet year."

After the Rubber Drive ended, in front of the Capitol Theatre and in front of the heap of collected rubber, Mayor Claude E. Lord Boulevard presented the key to the city to her while she was nursing her prize-winning baby. His Honor announced that that she was the Tripartite Champion of the county for winning the new year baby contest, the cruise and the Rubber Drive (as well as possibly winning the second world war too boot). This is the first time the term was supposedly used.

"For evermore no married woman nor married man will ever win the New Year Baby Contest" according to Mayor Boulevard’s proclaimed prophecy; a prophecy which has come true now for over seventy years.

 Any resentment over her driving the Opel during the Cruise soon vanished as the crowds gave her a thunderous applause, causing the New Year Baby to get really fussy. The Third Brigade Band sprang into action, playing a slow lullaby which caused the crowd, the baby, the Mayor and the Tripartite Champion (not necessarily in that order) to fall into a deep sleep. They did not wake up until the war was over or.... so the legend goes.

Over the years the legend has the Tripartite Champion winning the county Spelling Bee, the Shenandoah Kielbossi eating contest, the Hegins Pigeon Shoot, the Girardville Bar Crawl, the Klingerstown Greased Pig contest, the Schuylkill Haven fishing rodeo or the Pottsville Republican Recipe Contest. 

Some contestants have come close, with some winning two events. In 1957 one lucky teen won the New Year Baby Contest and the Spelling Bee, but she came in a disappointing third in the Soap Box Derby due to trouble with the baby seat. 

 I hope this answers your question.

Sincerely,

Trout

Consolidations, Closings and Mergers

The recent news concerning consolidations, mergers and closings in the area brought back tears and sad memories of similar events from the past. What I am talking about is the great theatre mergers of the 1970s.

I can remember when movie theatres were plentiful in the area. Orwigsburg had the Orpheum, Minersville had the Ritz, Pine Grove had its Adult Drive-In and Pottsville had The Capitol. It was in the early 1970’s that most theatres merged into one giant “United” at the Schuylkill Mall in Frackville. This was extremely controversial in the Pottsville area especially as The Capitol was a spectacular building and many of us did not want it torn down even though the Oasis Bar had an urgency for more parking spots for patrons.

I remember taking the current Mrs. Trout’s predecessor to the Capitol Theatre in 1970 to snuggle and watch “Love Story.” I remember hearing that dreadful announcement in the middle of the film, just when Oliver yelled out "I'm King of the World," that the theatre was closing and everyone had to leave. We were told that a roof cave-in would soon occur to assure that no one would sneak back in to watch the end of the film. Everyone was ordered to get on the bus destined for Frackville to view the rest of the film or just wait several years until the VCR is invented, when it could be watched in one’s own home. We pushed and shoved out of the Theatre that fateful evening but refused to get on that East Penn Bus. We were able to make a get-away, hidden by the thick exhaust emitted by the East Penn bus, and headed over to the Eagles Bar on Second Street to snuggle and drown our sorrows in some Yuengling.

We never did find out the ending of “Love Story” to this day.

I can never get over the loss of The Capitol. Trouts, for generations, went there for entertainment. It was the most gorgeous theatre in eastern Pennsylvania. I keep an old photograph of Grandpappy Trout at the Theatre attending the showing of “Birth of A Nation.” Look closely at the photograph; that’s Grandpappy wearing the white sheets walking down the ramp to the Orchestra floor. Here are other photos depicting the theatre’s marble crystal chandeliers. All of the opulence is gone now, and so is grandpappy. All I have left are these photographs and his old white sheets.

What was behind this consolidation thinking? Some blamed it on the shortage of theatre projectionists. “Not enough of them to service all of those theatres.” I am not sure if that was true. Mammy Trout says that maybe women should have been permitted to be projectionists. But no, the Hollywood moguls said that tradition dictated that all projectionists must be male, reminding those critics that Thomas Edison was a man - as were every succeeding projectionist. Women can sell tickets up front in the booth, and sell cotton candy and be usherettes, but they can never be projectionists, even at PG-13 movies.

Others blame demographics. There were not enough people in Schuylkill County who wanted to watch movies in a theatre anymore. I noticed this decline ever since “The Molly McGuires” movie left town, but local economists held that the decline in patronage was basically attributed to the competition from television’s popular shows such as Hee-Haw and Hogan’s Heroes which kept the citizenry glued to their sofas and bean bag chairs.
Decreasing revenues was another reason given. Concession stand profits were way down. If you recall, Orville Redenbacker had cornered the popcorn commodies, while at the same time the price of Jujube candy soared due to demand from Third World countries and Wilkes-Barre. The usual five pound box of Jujubes skyrocketed in Schuylkill County resulting in rationing by our commissioners.

Several held lawyers responsible. Yes, there were the lawsuits resulting in big payouts to all of those young movie goers, who decades later, came down with cataracts supposedly from wearing those Illusion-O ghostviewers handed out during the screenings of “The 13 Ghosts.” back in 1960.

A final argument for the consolidations was the high cost of maintaining the old buildings. A smaller box-like theatre in the Mall would be more economical to heat and air-condition than palaces such as The Capitol Theatre, which seated over 2700 persons (depending on each person’s girth). The Capitol was designed in an ornate Spanish Colonial style, due to its proximity to Jalappa, with elaborate art-deco plasterwork throughout. It was too much for one old cleaning lady to maintain anymore. But while cinder blocks are definitely easier to clean and maintain, it lacks any soul or personality. I still love that old Capitol Theatre. And Love means never having to say you’re sorry. I heard that corny line in some old movie I saw years ago.

I think it was The Titanic.