Dear Mr. Trout:
Will the New Year Baby Contest be held again? If so, what day is it held? I am not a contestant; I only want to place a wager. I think one of the girls in my homeroom class has a good chance to win. Isn’t that awesome? Do you have any favorite wagering parlors to recommend to me? Doesn’t this contest rival Powerball for pure excitement around here? Where is the announcement of the winner to be made? Will it be televised? Will it be featured on the Sam Lasante Show on Comcast’s 7 or 15? Will Sam Lasante interview the proud mother even if she gives birth past her bedtime?
Will the conversion to digital television on February 17th affect my TV reception of the announcement if a winner is not announced by then? I hope not. I still have rabbit ears. Not me personally, but our family’s television set. It is an old Admiral set. My ears can be described as cauliflower-like. I hate cauliflower. How about you Mr. Trout? Do you like cauliflower?
If I win some money picking the winner, then I will use some of my money to buy a new television set for the family so that we can watch American Gladiators on a 52 inch flat plasma! So cool, Mr. Trout, don’t you think?
Someone gave me a tip in gym class the other day. I was told that the winning child would be born out-of-wedlock? I wasn’t sure what that meant so I looked it up in the dictionary. I thought that wedlock was a Rastafarian hairdo; I was wrong. It means a bastard child. Pardon my language but that is what my dictionary had printed. I was told that it is impolite to use the term bastard anymore. Also you can’t use the term illigitimate anymore either. I am glad as that is one hard word to spell. A more correct term is love child. That is easier to spell. I looked up love child and it is defined as “a child born to two unmarried people who got jiggy with one another.” That is what I call being unlucky in love. Did you know Leonardo DaVinci was a bastard? I mean a love child. Sorry. They are only words and bastard sounds so cool and hip. We will study DaVinci next grading period. He was a great artist and a very smart man. They made a movie about some Code he invented. I thought the movie was so-oo boring. I liked Iron Man much better. Anyway it proves that having parents married to one another does not stop a person from being a winner in life.
My gramps told me that the rise in the number of illegitimate children places much higher costs on society for anti-poverty, criminal justice and education programs. He probably doesn’t know about Leonardo DiCaprio or his Code. He is boycotting the New Year Baby Contest and will play the lottery instead. He doesn’t think we should lavish gifts and attention on irresponsible, sexually frisky teenagers.
My neighbor won a pile of money the other year when a crack baby won the contest. That is what he told me, but he brags a lot. I don’t believe everything he tells me. Actually he told me the young mother won the prizes for having the little crack baby. He treated us to a king size bucket of Kentucky fried chicken down on Claude A. Lord Boulevard. Not the crack baby; that would be silly. My neighbor bought us the chicken.
I gotta go Mr. Trout, American Gladiators is on the tube right now, then I have to do some homework.
Sincerely,
Aiden Jaiden Naponavich
Lower Shaft, PA
Dear Mr. Naponavich:
Thank you for your letter. The contest surprisingly is scheduled to begin at the stroke of New Year on the gregorian calendar which is used in most of Schuylkill County. Bets can be taken at most fire houses and gaming parlors. It's popularity is growing and while it does surpass Powerball, it does surpass the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. Good luck A.J.!!
Will the New Year Baby Contest be held again? If so, what day is it held? I am not a contestant; I only want to place a wager. I think one of the girls in my homeroom class has a good chance to win. Isn’t that awesome? Do you have any favorite wagering parlors to recommend to me? Doesn’t this contest rival Powerball for pure excitement around here? Where is the announcement of the winner to be made? Will it be televised? Will it be featured on the Sam Lasante Show on Comcast’s 7 or 15? Will Sam Lasante interview the proud mother even if she gives birth past her bedtime?
Will the conversion to digital television on February 17th affect my TV reception of the announcement if a winner is not announced by then? I hope not. I still have rabbit ears. Not me personally, but our family’s television set. It is an old Admiral set. My ears can be described as cauliflower-like. I hate cauliflower. How about you Mr. Trout? Do you like cauliflower?
If I win some money picking the winner, then I will use some of my money to buy a new television set for the family so that we can watch American Gladiators on a 52 inch flat plasma! So cool, Mr. Trout, don’t you think?
Someone gave me a tip in gym class the other day. I was told that the winning child would be born out-of-wedlock? I wasn’t sure what that meant so I looked it up in the dictionary. I thought that wedlock was a Rastafarian hairdo; I was wrong. It means a bastard child. Pardon my language but that is what my dictionary had printed. I was told that it is impolite to use the term bastard anymore. Also you can’t use the term illigitimate anymore either. I am glad as that is one hard word to spell. A more correct term is love child. That is easier to spell. I looked up love child and it is defined as “a child born to two unmarried people who got jiggy with one another.” That is what I call being unlucky in love. Did you know Leonardo DaVinci was a bastard? I mean a love child. Sorry. They are only words and bastard sounds so cool and hip. We will study DaVinci next grading period. He was a great artist and a very smart man. They made a movie about some Code he invented. I thought the movie was so-oo boring. I liked Iron Man much better. Anyway it proves that having parents married to one another does not stop a person from being a winner in life.
My gramps told me that the rise in the number of illegitimate children places much higher costs on society for anti-poverty, criminal justice and education programs. He probably doesn’t know about Leonardo DiCaprio or his Code. He is boycotting the New Year Baby Contest and will play the lottery instead. He doesn’t think we should lavish gifts and attention on irresponsible, sexually frisky teenagers.
My neighbor won a pile of money the other year when a crack baby won the contest. That is what he told me, but he brags a lot. I don’t believe everything he tells me. Actually he told me the young mother won the prizes for having the little crack baby. He treated us to a king size bucket of Kentucky fried chicken down on Claude A. Lord Boulevard. Not the crack baby; that would be silly. My neighbor bought us the chicken.
I gotta go Mr. Trout, American Gladiators is on the tube right now, then I have to do some homework.
Sincerely,
Aiden Jaiden Naponavich
Lower Shaft, PA
Dear Mr. Naponavich:
Thank you for your letter. The contest surprisingly is scheduled to begin at the stroke of New Year on the gregorian calendar which is used in most of Schuylkill County. Bets can be taken at most fire houses and gaming parlors. It's popularity is growing and while it does surpass Powerball, it does surpass the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. Good luck A.J.!!
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