health care ideas

I did not let my daughter, Santana, go to school the other day. I did not want her to be subjected to listening to the President tell her that she should study hard and make something of herself. It none of his business what she does with her life. I don’t want my child brainwashed by anyone not affiliated with the music industry or the pop culture. No sir-ee. Instead of school we spent the day bonding together. Instead of getting up early to drive her to the bus stop, we drove to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast, then headed down to the check cashing store on Centre Street before purchasing some smokes across the street. We then headed home to watch the Sam Lasante Show. A much better use of her time than listening to some president talk about personal responsibility. However I was curious about Obama’s health care plan and whether it will cover acute bleenia, or only cover not so cute bleenia. There is a difference you know.

After the hour of watching Sam interview Jerry the car dealer, we packed up and headed to Knoebel’s Grove. Since it was a school day it was not overly crowded, just dozens of other kids being protected from exposure to the president (all Republicans), dozens of nerdy home schoolers (mostly all Republicans), and dozens of truants (mostly Democrats).

I hate to digress, but I did notice that there were an awful lot of acutely obese people at the park, or I should say not so cutely obese people. There is a difference you know. Neither one of us had an answer but the Comet Rollercoaster had a hard time going uphill.

While waiting for a ride, we discussed health plan alternatives. I suggested that airports passengers could get full x-rays - not just their luggage or pocket items. This could be much more cost effective. Santana then cried out, “Papa, this could also be done at the courthouse as well as all other government buildings that require security checks!”
I think we trouts were onto something really big. We stumbled upon a way to put a dent in our multi-trillion dollar deficit! Prostate and foot exams as well as mammograms –even singing mammograms - could be done by the security personnel at every airport and government building! It would require some re-training of the security personnel, but that is what stimulus money is for, isn’t it?
Think of the medical savings accomplished with this simple preventative measure, some people would be getting checked once, twice or three times a day, day in day out. The X-ray machine at the Joe Zerbey International Airport as well as the one at the County Courthouse are turned on 24/7. All of that energy will no longer be going to waste.
I needed to talk to someone with authority…. I did not who to call. Then it dawned on me. I would confide with the Pottsville Surgeon General, who is under a Hippocratic oath not to divulge anything discussed by a patient. My…our…idea is bigger than the both of us and the Surgeon General would keep it a secret for now. By the way, he is neither a surgeon, nor a General but that is besides the point.

I called the Eagles Bar on my blackberry and got a hold of the Surgeon General. A press conference at the Courthouse with the Pottsville TV station carrying live coverage of maybe dental or eye exams being given at the entrance was suggested to demonstrate the cost effectiveness of the proposal. He also suggested that a different exam could be given every day of the week and if you passed five exams in a row, you get free large coffee and tastee cake at the Canteen.
Now that is what I call a non-partisan approach to a compromise on such a controversial topic. All the exams will be done by government employees, yet any treatment would still be done by private doctors.

The public and private sectors working hand-in-hand.