Word was out that the pre-release Center would be coming to Pottsville. It would be a match made in heaven. You know, with the Intermodal Transportation Center being opened at the same time. I have to admit that I never quite knew what the word "intermodal” exactly meant. My dictionary defines the word as “Type of international freight system that permits trans-shipping among sea, highway, rail, and air modes of transportation.”
That seemed to clear things up; many thought it would be just a new bus station in the County Seat, trying to bring back the glory days of the old Pottsville Bus Station at the corner of Rt. 61 and Norwegian Street. The bus station featured a top notch restaurant, a photo booth, and a magazine stand. It was always busy. I am not just referring to its photo booth…. four pictures for fifty cents. I am talking about the bus station itself. It was not perfect though. Its biggest drawback was that the transportation there was only “Unimodal,” that is, only one means of transportation --- busses. The new Intermodal will cleverly combine busses with automo
biles, SUVs, trains, pogo sticks, balloons, escalators, canal boats and the medivac helicopter.
My favorite busses of the past were certainly not the glamorous Trailways busses. No, sir. My favorites were those big green East Penn Bus Company busses that roamed the county and which reappear in my dreams periodically. They were infamous for the fumes emitted whenever a bus driver placed the key into the ignition. Yes, sir the county seat was surrounded by a big black cloud of diesel exhaust in the 1960s and early 1970s and I loved it. At times, when a bus would travel up Market Street, visibility would be about .o2%, with everyo
ne within a radius of 250 square yards enveloped within the charcoal haze.
How thick was the smog emission? The smog was so thick that many people covered in could not even see the Guers Ice tea cartons they were drinking from and would spill their beverages all over themselves. I know this for a fact, as it happened to me on more than one occasion. If that was not so bad, then get a load of this: the only thing visible in Yorkville was the faint glow of the Burger King sign (which was actually erected with the smog in mind). It was also reported that more than a dozen people actually disappeared, never to be found again; all last seen walking through that crazy, hazy dark spot left behind by a sputtering East Penn bus. The disappearances were all blamed on alien abductions by the law officials. Alien interference always seems to be the excuse for anything unusual that happens around here. Finally, the resident scientists at the City Planetarium held that the pollution from these busses even surpassed the emissions from the last eruption of the county’s only active volcano, Mount Laffee. You all remember that eruption, don’t you? And that eruption was even ten times worse than the one at the Polish picnic's cabbage soup stand back in 1979.
I wonder what ever happened to those East Penn Busses?
I love the smell of diesel fuel in the morning. Don't you?
With the Intermodal Transportation Center in the heart of the historical district, perhaps the busses can be taken out of moth balls, called up to active duty, polished up with some turtle wax and given a new bus lease on life.
They could be to Pottsville as what the Duck bus tour is to Philadelphia.
I am running out of time now as I have to go and find a Christmas tree, Hannakah bush, Secularist shrub, Holiday hedge, or whatever one is supposed to refer to it now a day.
That seemed to clear things up; many thought it would be just a new bus station in the County Seat, trying to bring back the glory days of the old Pottsville Bus Station at the corner of Rt. 61 and Norwegian Street. The bus station featured a top notch restaurant, a photo booth, and a magazine stand. It was always busy. I am not just referring to its photo booth…. four pictures for fifty cents. I am talking about the bus station itself. It was not perfect though. Its biggest drawback was that the transportation there was only “Unimodal,” that is, only one means of transportation --- busses. The new Intermodal will cleverly combine busses with automo
biles, SUVs, trains, pogo sticks, balloons, escalators, canal boats and the medivac helicopter.My favorite busses of the past were certainly not the glamorous Trailways busses. No, sir. My favorites were those big green East Penn Bus Company busses that roamed the county and which reappear in my dreams periodically. They were infamous for the fumes emitted whenever a bus driver placed the key into the ignition. Yes, sir the county seat was surrounded by a big black cloud of diesel exhaust in the 1960s and early 1970s and I loved it. At times, when a bus would travel up Market Street, visibility would be about .o2%, with everyo
ne within a radius of 250 square yards enveloped within the charcoal haze.How thick was the smog emission? The smog was so thick that many people covered in could not even see the Guers Ice tea cartons they were drinking from and would spill their beverages all over themselves. I know this for a fact, as it happened to me on more than one occasion. If that was not so bad, then get a load of this: the only thing visible in Yorkville was the faint glow of the Burger King sign (which was actually erected with the smog in mind). It was also reported that more than a dozen people actually disappeared, never to be found again; all last seen walking through that crazy, hazy dark spot left behind by a sputtering East Penn bus. The disappearances were all blamed on alien abductions by the law officials. Alien interference always seems to be the excuse for anything unusual that happens around here. Finally, the resident scientists at the City Planetarium held that the pollution from these busses even surpassed the emissions from the last eruption of the county’s only active volcano, Mount Laffee. You all remember that eruption, don’t you? And that eruption was even ten times worse than the one at the Polish picnic's cabbage soup stand back in 1979.
I wonder what ever happened to those East Penn Busses?
I love the smell of diesel fuel in the morning. Don't you?
With the Intermodal Transportation Center in the heart of the historical district, perhaps the busses can be taken out of moth balls, called up to active duty, polished up with some turtle wax and given a new bus lease on life.
They could be to Pottsville as what the Duck bus tour is to Philadelphia.
I am running out of time now as I have to go and find a Christmas tree, Hannakah bush, Secularist shrub, Holiday hedge, or whatever one is supposed to refer to it now a day.
I never even got around to discussing the neat plan to fill Centre Street in Pottsville with prisoners. That will have to wait. I have a bus to catch.
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