North or South of the Mountain

Schuylkill County’s devotion to the Three Stooges is unsurpassed. The eye poking, the slaps on the face, the ear pulling. Yes, we the simple people of Schuylkill County can never get enough of that stuff. For decades every television set during the B.C. period of time (Before Computer), were all turned on to the Stooges. It didn’t matter if you watched with rabbit ears or on Trans-Video, Shen-Tel, Comcast or peered through your neighbor’s window. You had to see them to believe them.

Over the years there were many attempts to honor these gentlemen in the County despite the unwritten rule that only living local politicians, school directors or bureaucrats are to be honored by having streets, bridges and buildings named after them. In Pottsville the city councilmen unanimously rejected a proposal of having Claude Lord Boulevard renamed to Curly Way, but council did throw a bone to the masses by dedicating “Howard Avenue” in honor of Moe, Curly and Shemp Howard. These were the three sibling stooges. It was a safe way to get re-elected; don’t offend anyone. By naming it Howard Avenue, the councilmen avoided taking a stand in the warring faction between the residents favoring Curly over Shemp.

You see, Schuylkill County was and still is a very provincial area. The Broad Mountain, where Necho Allen discovered enlightenment, basically separates the county into two, and the differences between the populations of those living “north of the mountain” from those living “south of the mountain” are quite obvious.

Those living on the north drive on the right side of the road, while those living on south drive on the left. Those living in the north use the term “hoagie,” while those to the south prefer the term “submarine sandwich.” In the north it is impolite to chew gum while talking, and in the South it is impolite to talk while chewing gum. In the north apples are eaten to keep a doctor away; in the south apples are eaten solely for the fiber content. If a doctor fails to come around, so be it, the doctor is more likely to be your neighbor. Those living north of the mountain eat “halupkies” while those on the south side dine on “stuffed cabbage.” Those north of the mountain wear “dinkies” and those on the south don “knitted caps” (with designer logos). Those to the north use “sweepers” and those in the south use “vacuum cleaners.” In the North Alphabet Soup is in Cyrillic, but not so in the South. I could go on and on.

However, when the topic is “who is your favorite Stooge?” the North’s support for one particular Stooge was unmatched. Yes, the South overwhelmingly favored Curly, while the North held him in contempt, considering him to be the fraudulent Stooge – an imposter, a fake, a phony, a pretender to the throne, a charlatan. I could go on and on. The North was unwavering in its support of Shemp. Just click on Google Earth you will locate the village of Shempton, north of the Broad Mountain, made famous in the 1960’s as the scene of the legendary Shempton Mine Disaster, where rescue efforts ceased every day when it was time for TV celebrity Sally Starr to host a Stooge film. When the film ended, discussions of its meaning would follow before rescue work resumed. This is one theory as to why not everyone got out of the mine.

Yes, there were isolated pockets of support for other Stooges north of the Mountain, but they were far and in between. Who can forget the misguided attempt to have Shenandoah re-named Shen-Moe? The instigator stood up at the council meeting with his placard with the words, “Just Say Moe.” I certainly cannot forget. Thankfully dozens of Kiethan Bakery pies were hurled at him and he left town.

To this day, the name remains as Shen-Doe.