The Pottsville Summit

                                       POTTSVILLE SUMMIT SCHEDULED FOR MID-JULY

A summit meeting is defined as a meeting of leaders, usually with considerable media exposure, tight security and a prepared agenda.

Pottsville City officials will sit down with the leaders of the street people, loafers, and deadbeats as well as the leaders of the pipe-dreaming, goody two-shoes who want to bring back the city of years ago.  In the late 1950s a family could enjoy the entire day on West Market Street. Mom could take the kids to Raudenbush’s for some delicious sticky buns while dad could throw the medicine ball at the YMCA, take a Turkish steam bath and then go out and play the numbers at a nearby establishment.  Later the family could sit down together at the Sugar Bowl and enjoy a wholesome well-balanced meal followed by CMP sundaes.  They could then leave, once again play the numbers, and then motor home in an East Penn bus.

It seems that West Market Street has undergone a dramatic demographic change in recent years.  Sociologists attribute this to the removal of the cartoon characters that once were erected on Garfield Square, as well as the lack of sticky buns in the area. 

Why the cartoon characters? Well the answer is two-fold.  The first fold is that these cartoon characters attracted families from near and far.  Middle-class families got a sense of calm and peace just to see bigger-than- life, cuddly cartoon characters such as Droopy , Nancy & Sluggo, Alley Oop and Snuffy Smith.   The second fold is that the criminal element was kept at bay by such authoritative cut-outs such as Dick Tracy, Joe Palooka, Dudley Do-Right, and Mighty Mouse. 

 

All of these cartoon characters, by the way, were meticulously hand-painted by members of the Schuylkill Allied Artists with paint purchased locally at Mansell's Paint Store.  Little Lulu took three years to complete and used over fifteen gallons of red paint.

Copyright infringement litigation eventually led to the demise of the cartoon character replicas gracing the Square.  The family of Snuffy Smith agreed to a seven figure settlement which emptied the city coffers.  Many of the city residents, now distraught over the loss of the cartoons, began to dress up as Far Side characters; a tradition that continues to this day.

Soon the area became a mecca for frisky young teens who wanted to beget children and live the American dream –that is, to be housed, fed, given medical insurance and clothed at taxpayers’ expense without ever having to lift a finger.  

But today there are disagreements between the old guard and the newcomers.  The city officials will try and iron out the differences at the much bally-hooed Market Street Summit in mid-July.  

Some say that the long-overdue Summit is being called in order to stem the cry from the west end to restore Yorkville Independence.  It would be a borough without the baggage, by being free of the publicly subsidized housing that is so prevalent in the city- a city that has its goal of having more publicly subsidized housing by 2030 than its sister city of Pyongyang, North Korea.  Others say that the city has already passed Pyongyang in subsidized housing.

Several years ago some concessions were made to the street people when Tony’s Produce Market was leveled due to the complaints that the sale of fresh fruit and vegetables was culturally abhorrent and disrespectful to the new residents in the city. 

The natives are still restless and the summit seemed to be the only sensible solution.

Each side has their demands. One the one side: The Library must become more bed-bug friendly; No parades to be held before noon as not to disturb the residents’ sleeping; free day care from 8 PM until one hour after the bars close; iodized bath salts.  The goody-two shoes, on the other hand  want the return of the Easter Parade; gentlemen to walk on the roadside of the sidewalk; a Mayor’s Dance to be held during the summer on the large asphalt lot at Second and Market; thank you notes to be written when receiving a hand-out; clothes (including pajamas) should not be two sizes too small for pedestrians walking on Market Street.

At this moment, it appears that the only thing agreeable to all sides is that sticky buns sales should resume on West Market Street as quickly as possible.