Pottsville Palette Police

What? Am I reading the newspaper correctly? A few people squawked about loud colors being used within the city limits. Long known for its breathtaking swatch of grays and neutrals, Pottsville now wants to protect this image. It wants to prevent the city from being infiltrated by garish pigmentations. Does it refer only to those new colors such as soylent green, you don't look bluish, your just plain yellow, and jaundice? Will it mean that Nativity will have to change its school colors from green & gold to mauve and tan? You know that there are some bright colors that are popular with Hispanics and that could lead to problems with the city. I suggest that Kelly green be banned along with any of the tropical colors just to play it safe. We don't want to be accused of color profiling.

A few years ago the city began mandating that sidewalks be made of concrete, brick or stone. That upset some people who wanted to either make their sidewalks out of beer caps, gravel. crushed iced tea cartons or asphalt. I sided with the city as sidewalks should have some uniformity as they are a public thoroughfare over private property. I just think that roads should be roads and sidewalks should be sidewalks.
Also, while I respect the opinion that we should be proud of our coal heritage, I disagreed with those who want sidewalks to resemble anthracite mine paths. Even a well known restaurant downtown painted over its asphalt sidewalk with a color resembling pizza dough when asked politely by city officials. That is what I call cooperation and Pottsville Pride. Now at least it no longer can be confused with the street when I park my SUV to run in a get my pepperoni pie.

The city is now taking things further and suggesting a Pottsville Palette Police in order to regulate colors. Does this mean that our code enforcement officers will be sent away to art classes to be certified in the variety and uses of hues, tones, tints and shades? Don’t be surprised to see your code enforcement officer wearing a black beret soon. God bless them. I hated art class, except the one day the nude models showed up.
Many years ago the city decided that the statues on Garfield Square should be painted. No one even complained; but sure enough, tax dollars were being spent painting the statues. It was so long ago I can’t remember what the soldiers on the square were being painted to resemble. But with so much paint on their faces, I doubt that the soldier would have been allowed to enlist in the military, even with a “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” in effect. Luckily enough people rose up to protest and protect our heritage. The city backed down before they could get their paint brushes on old Henry Clay up on his pedestal.

With so many buildings in need of repair the city should be grateful that any color paint is being used. However, if the city wants to start regulating colors on buildings, then maybe they could start with that mysterious building on Laurel Boulevard just west of the court house. I have a picture up for you to look at. The building is not painted yet. Probably the owner is waiting for a decision from the code enforcement office.

It would be a great place to put in practice what one learns in art class.

Looking at the building one’s eyes are drawn to the shiny blue plastic roof. The cool, calming effect of this blue roof soothes me as I drive up Laurel Boulevard. This blue, plastic rooftop conveys a sense of confidence; the blue of the plastic rooftop symbolizes the sky, the ocean, sleep and twilight. The blue of the plastic rooftop also conveys a deep religious message to me, as blue is the color of the Virgin Mary. Yes, this blue, plastic roof was given apparent code enforcement office approval. Yes, there is something comforting about that little, humble building on Laurel Boulevard with its blue plastic roof. But it needs to be completed with a coat of fresh paint.

The daunting task for our newly created Palette Police is to coordinate the blue rooftop with a color on the outer unpainted outer walls.

While I never attended Penn State, I would suggest a flat white.