Over the years Pottsville had many big blizzards and with them comes a whole new set of social behavior rules. This year the it appears that the rules, like so many other traditions, are are being forgotten.
The most fundamental rule to remember is that you have the right of seasonal ownership of a parking space achieved by digging and shoveling. In Pottsville, this property right to claim a part of a public street is sacred. It is often compared to our right to bear arms. You know, the Second Commandment as written in the Torah that was given to Moses as played by Charlton Heston.
Like most rights, the government does have a few regulations to keep things orderly. For instance, to perfect one’s claim, a photograph of the spot must be on file at the Street Department, with a short filled out form, and a payment of a five dollar fee. Voila! You now have the exclusive right to that designated area until Easter Sunday. It is yours and no one else’s. God help any poor soul who inadvertently backs into “your spot.” But to keep bloodshed to a minimum, you must protect your newly acquired territory by the placement of a chair. This is not as simple as it sounds. Sociologists have come from around the world to study the “chair placing habits of Pottsvillians.”
“If dogs resemble their owners, then the street chairs resemble their Pottsville owners.” For instance, in front of churches, one can see pews or kneelers between the snow piles to protect parking spots for parishioners. Yes, and bar stools are common in front of the various pubs; commodes in front of the plumbers’ homes; barber and shiatsu massage chairs in front of the hair salons. I know I don’t have to tell you what type of chair the dentists display?
The most fundamental rule to remember is that you have the right of seasonal ownership of a parking space achieved by digging and shoveling. In Pottsville, this property right to claim a part of a public street is sacred. It is often compared to our right to bear arms. You know, the Second Commandment as written in the Torah that was given to Moses as played by Charlton Heston.
Like most rights, the government does have a few regulations to keep things orderly. For instance, to perfect one’s claim, a photograph of the spot must be on file at the Street Department, with a short filled out form, and a payment of a five dollar fee. Voila! You now have the exclusive right to that designated area until Easter Sunday. It is yours and no one else’s. God help any poor soul who inadvertently backs into “your spot.” But to keep bloodshed to a minimum, you must protect your newly acquired territory by the placement of a chair. This is not as simple as it sounds. Sociologists have come from around the world to study the “chair placing habits of Pottsvillians.”
“If dogs resemble their owners, then the street chairs resemble their Pottsville owners.” For instance, in front of churches, one can see pews or kneelers between the snow piles to protect parking spots for parishioners. Yes, and bar stools are common in front of the various pubs; commodes in front of the plumbers’ homes; barber and shiatsu massage chairs in front of the hair salons. I know I don’t have to tell you what type of chair the dentists display?
What chair would represent you or your occupation, lifestyle or personality? I often see a lot of wide lazy boy recliners on the streets. What is that saying about us as a society? Maybe a few weight benches or palatte machines would project a healthier image to the rest of the world that exists outside of Pottsville.
In the historical district, some chairs will be of the “early American” while others are dilapidated and torn chairs with legs removed. Those are the chairs of the numerous absentee property owners. Around the retirement homes, the chairs generally tend to be of the rocking, wheel or lift variety; while the young and hip - Pottsville has two of them at last count, by the way - place beanbag chairs on the streets. Newlyweds and newly shack-ups naturally drag loveseats outside. Young single moms are identified by the highchairs and potties in the streets. All in all, during a snowstorm Pottsville becomes a panoramic showplace of seats, couches, davenports, benches, settees, gliders, futons, stools, ottomans, and sofas.
In the historical district, some chairs will be of the “early American” while others are dilapidated and torn chairs with legs removed. Those are the chairs of the numerous absentee property owners. Around the retirement homes, the chairs generally tend to be of the rocking, wheel or lift variety; while the young and hip - Pottsville has two of them at last count, by the way - place beanbag chairs on the streets. Newlyweds and newly shack-ups naturally drag loveseats outside. Young single moms are identified by the highchairs and potties in the streets. All in all, during a snowstorm Pottsville becomes a panoramic showplace of seats, couches, davenports, benches, settees, gliders, futons, stools, ottomans, and sofas.
"It is the common thread that binds us Pottsvillians together as one people."
To recognize and honor this important role that household furnishings play in the winter history of the streets of Pottsville, the city has developed an appreciation award that is presented during Carnival. The competition for this coveted award becomes very fierce. This year the winner was an inmate at the county prison. Prisoner #587. He walked away (no pun intended) with the grand prize by creating a replica of the legendary electric chair, “Old Sparky” which was placed outside of the prison to reverse a spot for his old lady who visits him every Tuesday and Thursday.
To recognize and honor this important role that household furnishings play in the winter history of the streets of Pottsville, the city has developed an appreciation award that is presented during Carnival. The competition for this coveted award becomes very fierce. This year the winner was an inmate at the county prison. Prisoner #587. He walked away (no pun intended) with the grand prize by creating a replica of the legendary electric chair, “Old Sparky” which was placed outside of the prison to reverse a spot for his old lady who visits him every Tuesday and Thursday.
No comments:
Post a Comment