Who are these so-called experts that can pick and choose our planets? I don't remember ever voting for them, so… damn it…who gives them the right to pick and choose our planets? What did little Pluto ever do to deserve this slap in the face? I understand that athletes get booted out of the Olympics for using steroids. Do planets get booted out of the solar system for using asteroids? I doubt it.
Last week I heard that our solar system was going to get packed with a ton of "new planets." I am quite content with the nine we have, thank you. I have no use for any new ones and have no intention of ever setting foot on one, except maybe Planet Hollywood.
Did anyone ever check to see if one of these so-called Einsteins did not just sneeze on their Hubble Telescope when they announced that they found a bunch of new planets? How could new planets simply get so close to us without anyone ever noticing? Where the hell is Homeland Security when we need them?
Now I hear that no new planets are being allowed into the solar system; in fact, Pluto is being forced to leave. This is too drastic. Some sort of boycott or sanctions should have been imposed on Pluto first. Where the hell will it now go? Is there a homeless shelter for abandoned planets somewhere? I doubt it. Will more aliens now land in Shenandoah or Hazleton? Think about it.
The last time I was this upset was when Formosa was expelled from the United Nations, or maybe it was when I found out Milli Vanilli was stripped of their Grammy. I can't remember for sure.
So now what is next from the space bureaucrats? Maybe Antarctica will be demoted as a continent? Maybe Pottsville will lose its status as a city? Maybe the last one is not such a bad idea. In that case, maybe Pluto and Pottsville can band together.
The only good news is that the school kids have one less planet to memorize, even though Pluto is one of the easier names to remember. I had trouble with Uranus, and it does have some double meanings. If you watch Bevis and Butthead or South Park, then you know what I mean. Maybe that one should go.
Now what the hell do we do with our maps of the solar system? Do they all get discarded into the recycling bin? Will we be forced to put a post-em over "the icy space rock formerly known as the planet Pluto"? How will this affect Disney's stock? What will this do to the Miss Universe Pageant? There are so many questions that needed to be answered before making such a rash decision. It should have been studied longer. Where will this all end? What about Earth? Is that going to be next? It’s the only planet that is constantly at war. Maybe Earth should be booted out of the solar system until it gets its act together.
I vote for Pluto to remain a planet. If it can’t be re-admitted, then I think that we should call on Arlen Specter to move for its admission as our 51st State. Better yet, let's get He-Man, Master of the Universe on the phone and get his opinion. I find him more trustworthy. Let’s keep Pluto as a planet, and Pottsville a city. And for God’s sake, let’s give Milli Vanilli their Grammy back.
Last week I heard that our solar system was going to get packed with a ton of "new planets." I am quite content with the nine we have, thank you. I have no use for any new ones and have no intention of ever setting foot on one, except maybe Planet Hollywood.
Did anyone ever check to see if one of these so-called Einsteins did not just sneeze on their Hubble Telescope when they announced that they found a bunch of new planets? How could new planets simply get so close to us without anyone ever noticing? Where the hell is Homeland Security when we need them?
Now I hear that no new planets are being allowed into the solar system; in fact, Pluto is being forced to leave. This is too drastic. Some sort of boycott or sanctions should have been imposed on Pluto first. Where the hell will it now go? Is there a homeless shelter for abandoned planets somewhere? I doubt it. Will more aliens now land in Shenandoah or Hazleton? Think about it.
The last time I was this upset was when Formosa was expelled from the United Nations, or maybe it was when I found out Milli Vanilli was stripped of their Grammy. I can't remember for sure.
So now what is next from the space bureaucrats? Maybe Antarctica will be demoted as a continent? Maybe Pottsville will lose its status as a city? Maybe the last one is not such a bad idea. In that case, maybe Pluto and Pottsville can band together.
The only good news is that the school kids have one less planet to memorize, even though Pluto is one of the easier names to remember. I had trouble with Uranus, and it does have some double meanings. If you watch Bevis and Butthead or South Park, then you know what I mean. Maybe that one should go.
Now what the hell do we do with our maps of the solar system? Do they all get discarded into the recycling bin? Will we be forced to put a post-em over "the icy space rock formerly known as the planet Pluto"? How will this affect Disney's stock? What will this do to the Miss Universe Pageant? There are so many questions that needed to be answered before making such a rash decision. It should have been studied longer. Where will this all end? What about Earth? Is that going to be next? It’s the only planet that is constantly at war. Maybe Earth should be booted out of the solar system until it gets its act together.
I vote for Pluto to remain a planet. If it can’t be re-admitted, then I think that we should call on Arlen Specter to move for its admission as our 51st State. Better yet, let's get He-Man, Master of the Universe on the phone and get his opinion. I find him more trustworthy. Let’s keep Pluto as a planet, and Pottsville a city. And for God’s sake, let’s give Milli Vanilli their Grammy back.
1 comment:
very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter.
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