Pic-A-Pac Park

Someone sent me this article, supposedly from Wikipedia. I think it is a hoax.

Pic-A-Pac Park

Pic-A-Pac Park, at the corner of Morris and South Centre Streets, is one of the small environmental gem’s in the city of Pottsville and pivotal in the revitalization of Centre Street. While only .11 acres, it is the only free WiFi internet access park in the city. On days when the weather is nice, Pic-A-Pak Park is a popular spot for area workers to eat lunch with carry outs from the nearby Pic-A-Deli while checking their rub-off lottery tickets.

History
The park occupies part of a ridge of unusual rock formations that date back to the Pleistocene era. The metamorphic rocks, of sandstone, magnetite and green kryptonite are the result of geological activity from the much earlier Paleozoic era when man eating dinosaurs roamed Centre Street. These wondrous boulders are visible in the middle of the park.. To those not geologically savvy, the large boulders are sometimes mistaken for concrete refuse.
After the founding of Pottsville in 1811, one of the Pott family accidentally invented the funnel cake on this location while attempting to make a desert for the American Way Fair on the open hearth built originally by dear friend, Necho Allen. Later, the site was the location of the infamous Pottsville draft beer riots of 1863 which resulted from the price of draft beer being raised to a nickel to support the Union cause. Eventually a grand, Queen Anne-style town house was erected at 430 S. Centre St. Some called the building “ a red brick castle.” In the 1880s it was the home to businessman William Lesley Sheafer, whose son Clinton was the model for Whit Hoffman in O’Hara’s “Appointment in Samarra.” In the 1930’s it became the headquarters for the Pennsylvania State Police. It was at this barracks that began the practice of giving every criminal six wallet size photos for every mug shot taken. In 1991 it became the home of the “Pick A Pack” Beverage Take-Out Store until the building burned to the ground in March 2001 during one of Pottsville’s dazzling fires. From the time the last embers were extinguished, the new Pic-A-Pac Park was an instant and spectacular success, immediately attracting tourists from as far away as Mount Carbon. Pic-A-Pac was selected as the name to give the area a more French-like feel. Unlike many other parks, Pic-A-Pac contains no amusements, swing sets, funnel cake stands or any other intrusions on its rusticity. It is a welcome oasis where one can escape the hustle and, even sometimes, the bustle of life in downtown Pottsville.


Pic-A-Pac Park today
Lush landscaping with horticultural elements such as flowering giant ragweed, common milkweed, redroot pigweed, lambsquarters, velvetleaf, and other vegetation can be easily identified.
On Labor Day weekend, the annual Pic-A-Pac Park Summer Animated Film Festival is held, which has made Pottsville synonymous with cartoons. The film festival ranks well below Cannes, Toronto and Sundance in importance. Movies are projected onto the adjoining building wall which acts as a large screen and people of all ages sit on the ground to watch, laugh and point their fingers at the antics of lovable cartoon characters. The film festival began in 2002 with the premiere of “Steamboat Itchy,” the Itchy and Scratchy full feature which drew a crowd of 87. On Labor Day, 2007, the debut of the first Henry Clay claymation film was shown , "Henry Clay vs. the California Raisins" which featured a Gumby-like statesman/orator battling it out with his old nemesis, those california raisins. The claymation film drew a standing ovation from those in attendance.
Pic A Pac Park is also location of the annual reinactment of the 1863 Pottsville Draft Beer Riot which draws a fairly sizable following of enthusiastic participants, aged often between 8 and 94, willing to brave the elements and expend money and resources in their efforts to duplicate the events down to the smallest recorded detail, even yelling out annoyingly, "no beer, no peace."

References
^ America's Most Visited City Parks

Pottsville City Code

External links
List of municipal parks in the United States
Public park

California Raisins

Itchy and Scratchy

Norwegian Creek resurfaces,and I smell bad fish puns

Third Brigade Band -above

Nowegian Creek - left

Ahoy matey! The City of Pottsville has reached a fork in the river. It now has an opportunity to reel in a prized catch. That is, the chance to transfer itself into another San Antonio, Texas. All of this came about when the Norwegian Creek, long covered over with asphalt, surfaced once again.
What does that creek have to do with San Antonio? Well, listen up, folks. San Antonio’s River Walk is a tourist’s paradise. You will find shops, restaurants, and hotels lining the San Antonio River. You will find boats to take you down the canals while listening to the Mariachi bands playing along the banks. And in late November, the River Walk takes on a holiday glow. The colorful lights along the river will put you in the holiday mood. Do you now get my drift? It is not manta be funny. I am serious.
You may scoff at the idea of Pottsville angling to become another San Antonio. You may say to yourself, there is no way that shops and restaurants will be perched along Norwegian Creek. You may scoff at herring that The Third Brigade Band will dress in tightly cut pants, short-waisted, extravagantly embroidered jackets with silver buttons, and large sombreros to serenade tourists with Mariachi music. But please listen to me; it can be done if we all get on board. It is either sink or swim. We cannot simply flounder along. The Mayor should immediately make waves and order Mazzucca Enterprises to rip up the rest of coverings over Norwegian Creek. This could be Pottsville’s own version of the Panama Canal construction, one whale of a project.
I don’t think that the transformation to another San Antonio will be easy. The City will have to start out slowly. Pottsvillians are not accustomed to rapid changes. Perhaps next April a very modest trout rodeo could be held to get our feet wet. The winners could have their pictures taken with the Mayor, Jerry Enders, and the PADCO people –familiar faces which should make them feel comfortable. Gradually the town folk will adjust to the fact that Pottsville is now a booming river hamlet, and this concept will anchor itself in our collective thought process for good. I am sure that within a few years Pottsville will be swamped with fishermen every April. The City could promote, on a grand scale, the legendary mackerel breakfasts that have made Pottsville synonymous with Omega 3. Most people in the City already are accustomed to a plateful of mackerel every morning. They either eat the fish for their heart or just for the halibut.
In the summer, the downtown Norwegian Creek area will become alive with young windsurfers giving their mussels a workout. The potential is unlimited. I can see antique bathtub races in May, whitewater races in June, and slalom races in July. Why even salamander festivals in the fall! The city should immediately float a bond and sink all of the booty into pirate costumes for the downtown regulars to wear. Hand the costumes out to whoever will put them on! With just a simple change of outfits, everyday Pottsvillians can be magically changed into Captain Jacks, Long John Silvers, Blackbeards, Jean Lafittes, Captain Kidds, Henry Morgans and an assortment of buccaneers and river wenches, giving the city an authentic nautical look all year round. And I mean all year round. When the temperatures drop below freezing, the Creek will become a sparkling waterway through the center of the City. Imagine yourself ice skating on this frozen creek to the Hong Kong Buffet for some General Tso’s chicken, listening to the strains of the Third Brigade Band still playing mariachi music in the dead of winter. If that isn’t appealing enough then I am sure this will be. Visualize in your mind for one moment the following: Holahan’s, the Brass Tap, The Eagles, Maroons, and all of the other watering holes, setting up kiosks on the frozen creek to dispense heart-warming liqueurs to the passer-bys. Well, shiver my timbers, doesn’t that alone make you want to crab your silver skates and fishtail it right downtown this very minnow?
So, I hope I have crabbed your attention. This all may sound fishy, but this is not rudder nonsense – it is factual truth, but I won't carp on this anymore. The City Administrator needs your support for this titanic undertaking. Drop him a line and tell him full steam ahead.

Transform Pottsville into a river town.

Our Lady of....where?.... Minersville?

I was out of town and I missed all of the excitement in Minersville. From what I understand the town now is ready to skyrocket into the big league. First there was Fatima, then there was Lourdes (or do I have it backwards? I just don’t know.). Now there will be Minersville. Will Minersville be ready for the challenge when tens of thousands of pilgrims visit the sleepy little community made famous by its two wedding halls, its federal prison, and being the home of Joseph Balsis, a legendary billiards champion. I doubt it.

Then I started to wonder. Why would Mary, the mother of Jesus, visit Minersville of all places? It is baffling to me. I remember the old Miracle Mart just outside of town in the Plaza; when that place closed so did the town’s connection with anything metaphysical - or so I thought. By the way, the only miracle I ever remember happening in that old department store was being able to squeeze through a narrow aisle filled with wide shoppers, all in polyester stretch pants, who were coming towards me with their shopping carts. I was there to buy a Doobie Brothers eight track at the time.

I do know that if I were in heaven right now and I could return to earth I certainly would pick a place like the resort of Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic; I would also pick the month of January and not August to appear there. But I guess if I was going to appear in Minersville then I certainly would pick August and not January. Did you ever go to Minersville in January with the snow and slush all around? It’s enough to make you want to stop going to the Sunbury Street Frank ‘n Burger in the winter time (almost).
Some say that word may have got out in the celestial heavens that Minersville was to celebrate “Spirit Day” and perhaps it may have been misinterpreted as “Holy Spirit Day.” Did you ever hear some elderly person from Heckscherville talk real fast? Could you figure out what he or she was saying? You get the picture - a failure to communicate properly.

Others say that no one told her that Rokosz Hotel was closed. She thought Rokosz' was still having "Our Lady's Night" on Wednesdays. I certainly think someone is trying to pull my leg on that one. But do you remember Rokosz’ Hotel on Sunbury Street? I had great times there back in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s. If it reopened I would go back. I remember seeing “The Other Side” play there with Jimmy Kimmel singing a rockin’ “Expressway to Your Heart.” I saw them first at “The Globe” and then later at Rokosz’ and the Minersville Legion on Sunday nights. It was like heaven, man. That was when Minersville was at its artistic peak.

But why visit a garage on Lewis Street? I mean, if your mind is set on visiting Minersville, and there is no changing it, then why not visit a car dealership, say like Mickey Pritz’s Chrysler showroom, rather than a garage. That’s where I would have appeared, as if anyone would care. Maybe I would even take a test drive in a ’07 convertible Crossfire while waiting for crowds to gather. Or maybe head I would over to the Minersville football field and show coach Pat Mason the intricacies of throwing a real “Hail Mary” pass.

All of this has gotten me to write a book. The premise of my book is that Minersville is really “heaven,” (but no one has figured it out yet) and everyone living in Minersville, past or present, is a cherubim, seraphim or archangel. I mean everyone, including our county coroner and all the employees at Palarmo’s Restaurant.

Joe Balsis will definitely be an Archangel in my book, as he has a leading role. My book will have similarities with three films: the Bruce Willis hit movie, “The Sixth Sense”, the Jackie Gleason movie about a pool shark called, “The Hustler", and lastly the religious movie from the ‘40s, “The Song of Bernadette.” Two thumbs up from me on all of those films! Go over to West Coast video and check them all out. You won’t be disappointed with any of them. You can stop there on your way to the little garage in Minersville.

The Atkins Diet Schuylkill County Connection

Dear b.b.

I heard there is a connection between the Atkins diet and the County. Is that true?

Signed, Wondering

Dear Wondering:


I was flabbergasted to realize that there are people like you with neither a sense of history nor local pride. Did you not ever hear of the Atkins Mansion in Pottsville? From the ignorance shown in your letter it appears not.
What if I told you that Hope Tower (affectionately referred to as the Old Moose Building), located at South Centre and Mauch Chunk Streets was once a leading center for nutritional advancement? What if I told you that local hero Charles Atkins – the famed industrialist and Exalted Moose Lodge President- was a diet guru to boot? Would you believe me? Probably not.

Did you not ever hear of the controversial “Schuylkill food pyramid” promoted by Atkins but ridiculed by the so-called professionals? If you did not, I can probably guess what were you doing during your high school home economics class.

Atkins was a clear visionary; one not to be content with the typical 19th century diet. He thought that nutrition should be exalted as a true science, along with the other sciences, such as biology, botany and astrology. He researched the basic eating habits of his neighbors and developed his famous “Schuylkill Food Pyramid” which overturned many longstanding beliefs and rearranged the foods that we eat into basic building blocks. He arranged these blocks into pyramids after several failed attempts at parallelograms and circles. Circles were a disaster.
Many local residents, you and your like included, have forgotten that Atkins created this pyramid, as well as instituting the many changes in the way we eat today. So many of you take for granted the fact that we eat hoagies with two hands, a radical departure from the dining habits of the 19th century. You have Atkins to thank for that.
The foundation of his pyramid would no longer be the “serf diet” eaten by our ancestors, which consisted of porridge, gruel and turnips. From now on, the basic foods of the day would be the protein “building blocks.” Most of this protein could easily be obtained by a high consumption of hot dogs, scrapple, beef jerky, bologna, summer sausage and, of course, gravy.





Eggs were to be considered just as important as the meats. Atkins espoused the nutritional value of pickled eggs that float in jars for days in barrooms; eggs that you and so many other ignoramuses eat without ever given a thought to the creator while in a local tavern.
Poultry was also important. Atkins touted the nutritional benefits of eating both city chicken and Buffalo wings. In fact, he started the first Wing Night in the county. A proud tradition carried on to this day where young adults can consume as many chicken wings (dipped in bleu cheese or ranch dressing) as possible at a greatly reduced price.





As for legumes and beans, they were only to be consumed if they were made into a soup and served at a block party and washed down with healthy cold beer, which he thought to be a magical elixir which cured most ailments as well as increased one’s self-confidence and ability to attract the opposite sex.
Seafood was considered taboo due to his fears of high mercury content. In fact, the only seafood he proposed be eaten was a small amount of Swedish fish, which are soft and chewy and are similar to gummy bears in shape and texture. They have a flavor that lasts from head to tail. Many of you may remember that these Swedish fish were quite popular at the Capitol and Hollywood Theatres years ago. You have Atkins to thank for that.
Moving upwards on the pyramid, we find the good carbos such as bleenies and Tasteycakes. Bleenies eaten on a paper plate or paper napkin provided an individual with sufficient fiber to keep oneself regular and avoid constipation, thereby eliminating the necessity for fruit and vegetables. If one gives in to temptation and wanted to indulge in fruits, then Raisinets, peach snapps, and Fruit Loops taken separately or together were acceptable. The only vegetable permitted is tobacco.
Climbing to the top, you reach the dairy products level; important for the calcium to make the strong bones and strong teeth needed to work in the Pottsville steel mills. For this he recommended Eskimo Pies, Fudgesicles, Reddi Whip, Cheese Whiz and Milk Duds.
Lastly Wondering, Atkins also cautioned his male compatriots that there was one food that should be avoided at all costs, and that was, of course, “the wedding cake.” It is a pity that so many failed to adhere to his warning.
That is the story behind the Atkins Diet: Schuylkill Style.