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I picked this up today at City Hall, better hurry....

tonight's the night.
http://blogs.the-american-interest.com/wrm/2013/03/19/americas-baby-problem/

Happy April Fool's Day.....

The Pottsville Dairy

Most cities have hundreds of streets, but one or two streets always become better known than the others. It may be because of the shopping opportunities, the nightlife, or historical significance, but it’s the streets that the tourists and travelers always visit and snap pictures of. Remember the last time you were on Beale Street in Memphis? Now you know what I am talking about.

  Mahantongo Street in Pottsville is such a street.  Mahantongo Street is nestled on the foothill of Sharp Mountain (the mountain named after Necho Allen's favorite cheese), and it runs for approximately thirty blocks. It is Schuylkill County’s equivalent of Park Avenue, Champs-Élysées, Mulholland Drive, Wisteria Lane, Wall Street, Sesame Street, the Donner Pass and Rodeo Drive, all rolled into one.  Just imagine that conglomeration.

On a recent walking tour of charming Mahantongo Street, I was lucky enough to be at the Ice Cream Dairy when the Forbes list of richest people was breaking news on T-101.  The Dairy Owner was a trillionaire! Everyone at the dairy bar broke into thunderous applause -  an applause so loud that ice cream fell out of the cones as  hundreds of pigeons flew from the upstairs and out through the broken windows, circling the city in a victory lap before returning to the Dairy.

 The success of the Dairy was due to the popularity of one product and one product only, that of Prothonocherry Ice Cream.  It was the ice cream recipe that, I, bb trout, created and sold away to the Dairy for a song and a dance (specifically, the Hokey Pokey if you really want to know what song and dance) and it made the Dairy owner rich beyond belief.  It took time for the flavor to gain popularity. First, people had to learn how to spell and pronounce the name, but once that happened, Vanilla and Mustachio were both soon discarded to the dust bin of historical flavors.

 Now people just can’t get enough of it.  It is a hit at the Pottsville American Way Fair where it great on funnel cakes while taking in a Moon Walk ride.  Soon people from everywhere began to flock to Pottsville to get a double-dip cone and take photographs of America’s Oldest Ice Cream Dairy, where ice cream was originally dug out from the containers by the bare hands of breaker boys who moonlighted at the Dairy after leaving the mines.  The ice cream scoop had yet to be invented.  Incidentally, the breaker boys are credited with creating Rocky Road ice cream, another favorite in the city.

If you are not familiar with the Dairy, it is just a stone’s throw down from “Les Soupe Cuisine” – Pottsville’s critically acclaimed Français Soupe Kitchen. Yes! Now you know where it is!  Where lovers sit on the patio in the moonlight, listening to the voices of the Edith Piaf and Maurice Chevalier impersonators, while partaking of the soupe de jour, cheese fondue, the magnifique frog legs, and of course, pie a la mode (with Prothonocherry ice cream, of course).

 To the untrained eye the Dairy appears battered, dilapidated and decrepit, but that is part of its allure to the tourists who flock there in droves. It, along with the neighborhood, shed its patrician residential tone many decades ago.  The bourgeoisie was run out of town, resettling in Orwigsburg.

I heard some say that “the Dairy building should be cited for Quality of Life violations” While others say “a trillionaire could surely afford to replace the broken windows.” To them I say leave the building alone, give the citations to the hapless, tax-paying citizen who doesn’t’ shovel the snow within minutes of the snow landing on his or her sidewalk.  To the critics, I say our Dairy building is the mirror of our city, a reflection of our inner souls, it is what we have become. To the critics I say, "Qu'on leur coupe la tête! Now can I finally have another scoop of Prothonocherry? And make it a double dip, s'il vous plaît.”

                                                                       Please watch this video.
                                                            S'il vous plaît regardez cette vidéo.

trout's mailbag: The Schuylkill Tripartite

             

Dear Mr. Trout:

I have heard the term “Schuylkill Tripartite” but do not know what it means? Do you? I thought it has something to do with toppings placed on a cheeseburger at Renningers Market.

   D.K.

  North of the Mountain

                                             

Dear D.K.:

The Schuylkill Tripartite is a rural legend that has been around for decades. 

It refers to one individual sweeping three of the major events held in Schuylkill County within one calendar year. 

It makes no difference if the calendar is Gregorian, Julian or Chinese.

 A hat trick to some, a triple crown to others, but the winner must win three.

  Legend has it that a county woman during the
 second world war gave birth to the new year baby
 while the father of the child was far away in the
Pacific on his way to Bora Bora. He was an 
anonymous sailor from Dauphin County, she was a
riveter at Eastern Steel.  They hooked up after a few 
drinks at the Circle Bar one lonely April night in 1942
 while the Andrews Sisters played on the juke box, if
 you really want to know.

The legend continued with her winning the Pottsville Cruise in a 1931 Opel but this victory was shrouded in controversy as  by the end of 1942 half of the U.S. automobiles were issued an “A sticker” which allowed only four gallons of gas per week.  This limited the number of cars in the cruise that year to only five, all driven by females as the Cruise regulars all joined the navy and were somewhere in the Pacific, near Bora Bora. Four of the drivers got lost along the way. Many criticized the winner for driving a german car, resulting in cabbage being hurled towards her (cabbage was called victory lettuce back then). This caused the new year baby, in the car seat, to get really fussy.

To make amends, she organized the County’s World War II Rubber Drive and she, by herself, collected one ton of old tires, rubber bands,  raincoats, rubber duckies, teethers, garden hoses, whoopee cushions, goulashes, rubber chickens, koosh balls, bathing caps, hot water bottles, balloons shaped like animals and rubber gloves (not necessarily in that order).  This was all done single-handedly, mind you, as she was holding the new year baby the entire time in her right arm.  That year, Schuylkill County collected more than any other county in the entire United States that year thanks to her. 

The Historical Society has photographs of the large pile of whoopee cushions being bundled for transport at the Union Station.  Every single whoopee cushion in the county was donated during this patriotic endeavor and 1943 will be forever remembered as the County's "quiet year."

After the Rubber Drive ended, in front of the Capitol Theatre and in front of the heap of collected rubber, Mayor Claude E. Lord Boulevard presented the key to the city to her while she was nursing her prize-winning baby. His Honor announced that that she was the Tripartite Champion of the county for winning the new year baby contest, the cruise and the Rubber Drive (as well as possibly winning the second world war too boot). This is the first time the term was supposedly used.

"For evermore no married woman nor married man will ever win the New Year Baby Contest" according to Mayor Boulevard’s proclaimed prophecy; a prophecy which has come true now for over seventy years.

 Any resentment over her driving the Opel during the Cruise soon vanished as the crowds gave her a thunderous applause, causing the New Year Baby to get really fussy. The Third Brigade Band sprang into action, playing a slow lullaby which caused the crowd, the baby, the Mayor and the Tripartite Champion (not necessarily in that order) to fall into a deep sleep. They did not wake up until the war was over or.... so the legend goes.

Over the years the legend has the Tripartite Champion winning the county Spelling Bee, the Shenandoah Kielbossi eating contest, the Hegins Pigeon Shoot, the Girardville Bar Crawl, the Klingerstown Greased Pig contest, the Schuylkill Haven fishing rodeo or the Pottsville Republican Recipe Contest. 

Some contestants have come close, with some winning two events. In 1957 one lucky teen won the New Year Baby Contest and the Spelling Bee, but she came in a disappointing third in the Soap Box Derby due to trouble with the baby seat. 

 I hope this answers your question.

Sincerely,

Trout