After attending a seminar in Arkansas, Mammy and I had to return to Schuylkill County for the big referendum being held this November. We flew back and landed at Zerbe International Airport. We were used to the delays that customs and the numerous security checks create. Mammy filled out the declaration form and reported the armadillo; not like the last time. I reported two boxes of Whitewater Taffy.
Due to the recent public announcement by the Pottsville Surgeon General about the spread of bleenia, we experienced another 45 minute delay as there now was the physical examination required to prevent the illness from entering or leaving the county. The airport security guard checked my fingers for any tell-tale signs of grease or onion and then cotton-swabbed my mouth for any signs of potato pancake residue, and, just for the heck of it, performed a hernia test. I hailed a cab and we left the airport after testing negative for bleenia and also negative for hernia.
We headed back to Schuylkill County to participate
in the plebiscite involving independence for Yorkville. Finally the residents are going to vote on
whether to secede from its union with Pottsville! It’s been in all of the papers and on the
radio and the people are getting really worked up.
The union between Yorkville and Pottsville goes back
over 100 years and the merger has been peaceful for the most part. Before the union, Yorkville had been an
independent borough settled primarily by German immigrants. The Germanic influence can still be seen
everywhere. Many of the men still wear
lederhosen, while the women still wear bodices, skirts and aprons (not necessarily in
that order). The citizens still eat soft
pretzels and sausage daily. German-named stores abound. For instance, one can find Dimmerling's Candy store, Lotz’s Cafe,
Sauer’s Toy Store (where I bought my first spud gun) and the Sheetz gas
station.
Later Pottsville became the business center with its
thriving downtown. Pottsville also supplied much employment to Yorkvillians and
others, in its numerous mills, factories and stores.
Something happened over the years. Businesses,
stores, factories and mills are no longer around. Not only did the mines close, NAFTA allowed us to buy foreign-made
Big Pecker t-shirts real cheap, resulting in the local garment factories closing. Pottsville
finally threw in the towel in trying to attract industry or good jobs. Social
Services and public housing now dominate the psyche of Pottsville and its past
economic success is long forgotten; or, if remembered, causes
embarrassment. Yorkville now has a more thriving business district than
downtown Pottsville. It is expanding its
economic base along the Gordon Nagle Trail. Yorkville sees its future different
than Pottsville. Yorkville and Pottsville think differently. Yorkville does not want to discard its work
ethic. Pottsville had abandoned its work ethic long ago. This is the reason for
the vote.
Pottsvillians now pin their hopes on the Thompson
Building becoming a homeless shelter, joining the other numerous social
services it provides, such as the Women’s Shelter, the prison, the Zoup
kitchen, section 8 housing, Children & Youth, and mental health facilities. Yes, these
social services do provide jobs to many, and also help some underprivileged. But the downtown is not the same. As time
goes by, more social services will replace the empty stores on Centre Street.
The Pottsville Surgeon General has issued a new
report about the rampant Microdeckia that has settled over the city. Microdeckia is Latin for “not playing with a
full deck.” The Surgeon General coined
that word one evening after leaving the Eagles Club for a stroll down Centre
Street towards the Oasis Bar. Has the so-called social safety net actually increased the
incidence of Microdeckia? Is the cart now pulling the horse? Will there ever room
for anything else in the downtown?
The election campaign is in full swing right
now. I am voting for Yorkville Independence. Not because of the high amount of
our taxes going to support the downtown, but because I dream about getting a cushy job
with the new Yorkville Administration someday. Something with a defined benefit
retirement plan. Mammy wants one too. My daughter Santana, doesn't want a job. Work gives her the creeps. She thinks she has a shot at
becoming Miss Yorkville. She looks good in a bodice, skirt and apron.
