Schuylkill County and Hoodie Hooism

I will not celebrate Hoodie-Hoo Day. Call me an old fuddy duddy, I don’t care. I will not participate in any of the numerous countywide festivities. The concept of grown adults going outside on February 20th at twelve noon to cast some sort of mass spell is against my religious beliefs. At twelve noon I plan to be inside somewhere, hopefully eating a huge cheesesteak, smoking a cigarette and drinking a lager ale.

If you are not familiar with Hoodie-Hooism, it is a combination of Pennsylvania Dutch Pow-Wow, Louisiana VooDoo, and urban gangsta rap. On February 20th open your window and listen the pounding drum rhythms, while the participants chant dutch proverbs (“Kissin’ wears out – cookin’ don’t”) and sing their songs (“Siss Net Alli Daag Luschdich Leewe”) as they do hip hop arm and hand gestures towards the noon day sun. At the same time,some white-robed, red- hatted HooDoo priestess leads them in some strange incantation meant to alter the weather and create more global warming.

These people want to shorten the winter and lengthen the summer!
Their rituals are elaborate, steeped in secret Pennsylvania Dutch, French Creole, and gangsta rap languages. Talismans are bought and sold during the rituals; some could even be bobble heads that represent HooDoo gods. This is the dark side of Hoodie Hooism that I am trying to warn you about. It uses hapless participants to summon the spirit world to alter the normal course of nature, shorten winter, and defying all that the groundhog had told us. Just watch as the high priestess places candles, food, money, cigarettes, amulets, lottery tickets, herbs, necklaces, ceremonial rattles, magical powders, cans of Yuengling beer, flags, bells, sacred stones and knives upon the HooDoo rug (pictured here) as the incantations begin in earnest.

"HOODY HOO!!!!! That's the call for the killaz.
Don’t make me call the dogs (use my ghetto code)
Oh, we got beef? HOODY HOO!
I represent the dirty south
For all my thugs and thugettes out there
To the world
Get rowdy, bout it, bout it (Where they at?)
Where the tru thugs at?
HOODY HOO, Buckle up, Knuckle up What you wanna do?

HOODY HOO, Buckle up, Knuckle up. What you wanna do?

HOODY HOO, Buckle up, Knuckle up. What you wann do?"

Spells which are conjured up to alter the weather take a long time to cast and take a lot of psychic power. The incantations go on for hours. That is why healthy, vigorous volunteers are requested to take part. Those of weakened physical ability sometimes end up in zombie-like stupor with no will of their own destined to walk up and down Pottsville's Centre Street forever.

Hoodie Hooism (a/k/a HooDoo) does not have a structured hierarchy, nor an established theology or clergy. It relies on these lay practitioners under the watchful eye of a Hoodie Hoo doctor or priestess. HooDoo was first documented in 1875 when a spell was cast upon a Pine Grove summer sausage salesman who soon met economic disaster. Hoodie Hooism was recently linked to the freak hail storm that wrecked havoc on the Pottsville Cruise Parade in 2008.

Scientists have been following Hoodie Hooism for years. The direct correlation between global warming and increased Hoodie Hooism can no longer be denied. Go to the Majestic Theatre and watch the award winning “An Inconvenient Truth” once it comes around again.
Since the 1960s, both the atmospheric CO 2 level has increased in direct co-relation to the number of Hoodie Hoo events. Thus, Hoodie Hooism is a proven substantial factor in global warming which can no longer be ignored.

I am not arguing that Hoodie Hooism to be the sole cause of global warming, as one cannot rule out other external forces influencing climate changes. Certainly the eruption of Mount Laffee several years ago, the variations in earth’s orbit around the sun, and the gasses emitted by local greenhouses and those eating excessive amounts of sauerkraut or brussel sprouts are other factors that need immediate attention.

Stay away from Hoodie Hoo. Watch the video below.

Senior Winter Olympics of 1972

I remember the magic and excitement of the Senior Winter Games that were held here in Pottsville in 1972. While overshadowed by the Schuylkill Senior Summer Olympics, these winter games were always a hoot. Obviously most of the winter games were at the old Ski Lodge, not to be mistaken for the Moose, Masonic or Elks Lodges, all within the city limits (and where some of the events were held). For those too young, the Pottsville Club now occupies the old Ski Lodge and it sits high on top of Sharp Mountain.
Just like the summer games, the tenaciously trained senior winter Olympians came from all corners of Schuylkill County to participate in the cold, all sponsored by state lottery money.

The opening ceremony, at Veterans Stadium, had the athletes enter on their Rascal scooters and parade around under the flags of their respective municipalities. It was the last year that scooters were permitted onto the field due to the damage caused by the chains on the tires. All subsequent opening ceremonies had the participants in snowmobiles or pushing shopping carts.

All announcements were all broadcasted in the three official Senior Olympics languages.* Soon the word bellowed that the senior Olympians, all dressed in either spandex or Morgan Knitting Mill Long Johns, were now taking the field in the Parade of Municipalities. A tumultuous applause broke out that lasted for ten minutes as it was discovered that clapping ones hands keeps frostbite risks to a minimum. The athletic events would soon begin in earnest after the male figure skating tribute to the Pottsville Maroons and the torch lighting of the official Senior Olympic cauldron.
The Senior Olympic Committee expanded the number of events that year. Not only would there be the traditional sports of Skiing, Bobsledding, snowball fighting, milk curling, dog sledding and synchronized snowman building, as now many new sports would be featured. Generation G was not content with old sports, they demanded new exciting events. Moustache defrosting was held at the Moose Lodge and was quite a crowd pleaser. If I am not mistaken, Sacramento won the gold for the men, while West Penn won the gold for the women. But I may be wrong. It may be the other way around.
Then there was the sport of Igloo-building which was dominated by the elders of Eldred Township. Rumors spread that Geritol enhancement may have assisted in their victory but the urine tests all came back negative. If I am not mistaken gold medals were given for urine tests that year for the first time. Eldred doubled the gold that year.
One of the most exhilarating sports added that year was the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed Race which had teams carry beds down Market Street, north on Centre and then up Laurel Boulevard to ice-filled Veterans Stadium. Shenandoah was the odds on favorite. “Do you believe in Miracles?” Well, Pottsville got the gold, Shenandoah got the silver, and Ringtown captured the bronze in a breath-taking photo finish upset to the amazement of thousands watching in the stands rooting for their hard of hearing home team. It is often referred to as "the miracle ear on ice."
Icicle Bingo was held at the Elks Lodge but that event was quickly dropped due to no spectators showing up. If anyone got a medal that year, no one cared. Compare that to the Cold Water Diving held at JFK Stadium. “The Tower” was still standing then. That event drew the most contestants and the biggest crowds, with many children encouraging their elders to just give it a try. I don’t know how to express in words, the emotion felt by watching people old enough to be my great-grandparents do twists and turns into the frigid waters of the pool, kept warm only by a heavy coating of Vicks-Vapo Rub, and being judged for technical achievement, overall impression and artistic interpretation. All of this diving was done for the glory of their respective municipalities, and not for personal edification. It brought tears to my eyes, and those tears quickly froze.
The Senior Winter Olympics of 1972 were unforgettable and I was glad to be there.

* The three official languages of the Senior Games are King’s English, Pennsylvania Dutch and Skook dialect. For example:

King’s English : “How are you doing, Sir?”
Pennsylvania Dutch: “Wie tun Sie, Herr throw me down the stairs a kiss.”
Skook Dialect: “How’re youse doin’ yo?”

Another example:
King’s English: “Why, my word, look at that!”
Pennsylvania Dutch: “Gookamoedoe! Throw me down the stairs a kiss.”
Skook dialect: “Wad da frik!!!”

Still another example:
King’s English: “Pardon me Sir. Can you please pass the bottle of ketchup to me?”
Pennsylvania Dutch: “Mich begnadigen geehrter Herr. Konnen sie mich die flasche des Ketschups bitte fuhren and while you are at it throw me down the stairs a kiss.”
Skook dialect: “Yo, butt, gimme dat friggin’ catsup bough-ull, wuj- ja.”