It is time for me to be serious. I realize it is Pierogie Bowl Weekend in Schuylkill County and many families will be hosting Pierogie Bowl Parties or going out to a Sports Bar to watch it on Plasma TV. I don't want to be a humbug but the Pierogie Bowl has a negative, delusional impact on our young people and it is time we faced up to this fact.
Pierogie eating is big around here – very big. It always has been and probably always will be. Years ago, our young boys had nothing to look forward to but to work in the mines. That is, dangerous work in the dark for sixty hours a week. On Saturday nights the miner could then go out to smoke, drink, gamble and chase skirts with his paycheck. Yes, I know it sounds pretty good but the excitement and novelty quickly wears off and monotony sets in after several years.
Pierogie eating is big around here – very big. It always has been and probably always will be. Years ago, our young boys had nothing to look forward to but to work in the mines. That is, dangerous work in the dark for sixty hours a week. On Saturday nights the miner could then go out to smoke, drink, gamble and chase skirts with his paycheck. Yes, I know it sounds pretty good but the excitement and novelty quickly wears off and monotony sets in after several years.
Eventually word got out that it is possible to become rich and famous, while still having time to smoke, drink, gamble and chase skirts, by breaking into the fledgling pro sport of pierogie eating. But no longer would one have to go underground for sixty hours a week for the opportunity to do so as pierogie eating was done nearly all of the time above-ground.
The prestige bestowed on the professionals of competitive pierogie eating encouraged young men, primarily from “north of the Broad Mountain” to consider this up and coming sport as a one-way ticket out of the mines.
The temptations of exorbitant endorsement payments, autograph sales, and contracts with the Food Channel and Bon Appetit magazine are certainly seductive to many a young boy and few girls (pierogie eating has gone co-ed due to Title IX requirements).
Yet breaking into the pros remains an elusive and unrealistic goal. Only the “cream of the potato crop” will make it the Pierogie Bowl. The disheartened majority will fall by the wayside. Exploited by coaches and corporate executives, these naive, gluttonous youngsters will usually find themselves without a decent job when their eating contest days end and they become has-beens.
It is difficult to change this mentality, as many myths remain unshakeable. Myth Number One is that “high school pierogie gorgers get scholarships.” This is absolutely incorrect. While it is true that there is some financial assistance to attend a culinary school out there, very, very few high school pasta pocketeers actually receive full scholarships to such places. The scholarship money awarded is pittance and would not even pay for a semester’s worth of butter and onions.
Myth Number Two is that “pierogie competition leads to a college degree.” Without any doubt, more pierogie eaters are college educated today than years ago. Yet many barriers remain which hamper graduation for the serious college pierogie competitors. The demands on their time and energy as well as the post-game indigestion, gaseousness and nausea are incalculable, even in the off-season. Because of these pressures, many collegiate food devourers simply drop out and forget about receiving a diploma.
Myth Number Three is that “pierogie eating is a realistic career choice.” Again, this myth is without foundation. Yes, a few pierogie eating standouts can make millions, but their number is extremely low. On the other hand, the average pierogie tasting jobs jobs have either been relocated overseas (thanks to NAFTA) or performed by robots. The jobs just aren’t there anymore.
These three myths remain strong in our county where pierogie eating is now ranked as the number three high school sport, following right behind football and field hockey. During the summer off-season I did manage to visit a few of the several pierogie eating training camps that dot our beautiful county. To those who do not follow the sport of pierogie eating, these camps are commonly referred to as “block parties, ” "bazaars," "church picnics" or “street fairs.” These training camp block parties are basically places where young rookies as well as the more “seasoned” (no pun intended) semi-pros display their skills and try to be spotted by scout to possibly earn roster spots on the glamour teams from Mahanoy City, Shenandoah or the up-start Lost Creek that are legends in the Mrs. T Pierogie Bowl. It is a coal region way of life that will never die. The large attendance and participation at such events as the Polish Day, Lithuanian and Ukrainian Day Festivals in Minersville, as well as the Yorkville Block Party, reflect the aspirations of hundreds of our county's youngsters. They want to turn pro and make ridiculous amounts of money instantly. And why not?
It is difficult to change this mentality, as many myths remain unshakeable. Myth Number One is that “high school pierogie gorgers get scholarships.” This is absolutely incorrect. While it is true that there is some financial assistance to attend a culinary school out there, very, very few high school pasta pocketeers actually receive full scholarships to such places. The scholarship money awarded is pittance and would not even pay for a semester’s worth of butter and onions.
Myth Number Two is that “pierogie competition leads to a college degree.” Without any doubt, more pierogie eaters are college educated today than years ago. Yet many barriers remain which hamper graduation for the serious college pierogie competitors. The demands on their time and energy as well as the post-game indigestion, gaseousness and nausea are incalculable, even in the off-season. Because of these pressures, many collegiate food devourers simply drop out and forget about receiving a diploma.
Myth Number Three is that “pierogie eating is a realistic career choice.” Again, this myth is without foundation. Yes, a few pierogie eating standouts can make millions, but their number is extremely low. On the other hand, the average pierogie tasting jobs jobs have either been relocated overseas (thanks to NAFTA) or performed by robots. The jobs just aren’t there anymore.
These three myths remain strong in our county where pierogie eating is now ranked as the number three high school sport, following right behind football and field hockey. During the summer off-season I did manage to visit a few of the several pierogie eating training camps that dot our beautiful county. To those who do not follow the sport of pierogie eating, these camps are commonly referred to as “block parties, ” "bazaars," "church picnics" or “street fairs.” These training camp block parties are basically places where young rookies as well as the more “seasoned” (no pun intended) semi-pros display their skills and try to be spotted by scout to possibly earn roster spots on the glamour teams from Mahanoy City, Shenandoah or the up-start Lost Creek that are legends in the Mrs. T Pierogie Bowl. It is a coal region way of life that will never die. The large attendance and participation at such events as the Polish Day, Lithuanian and Ukrainian Day Festivals in Minersville, as well as the Yorkville Block Party, reflect the aspirations of hundreds of our county's youngsters. They want to turn pro and make ridiculous amounts of money instantly. And why not?
Maybe the grueling discipline and hours of practice will pay off for one or possibly two. Who knows? Maybe these select few will get a chance to participate in the biggest bowl tournament in the coal region. But lets get serious, it's not going to happen for most. These impressionable kids are wasting their time as well as their block party tickets. Tickets better spent on halushki, bean soup or french fries.
Their willingness to train, sacrifice, and prepare for the future are commendable. But in doing so, the main focus needs to be on developing the occupational skills needed for success in a highly competitive global marketplace. Professional Pierogie Eating is not going to cut it. You don't see Won Ton eating competition being glorified in China. No, those youngsters are busy solving math problems. This is why I am boycotting this year's pierogie bowl. Just say 'dough.'
