Rename Pottsville? part II

There had some some discussion over changing the name of Pottsville to something more vibrant and I was a leading proponent. That is why the name still remains Pottsville.

My prior suggestion of renaming Pottsville has attracted some fanfare. Our county seat could adopt a new hip image as Mauch Chunk did years ago. when it became Jim Thorpe. It is now universally accepted that the name Pottsville is often confused with either Pottstown or Pottsylvania (a la Rocky & Bullwinkle). It appears that there is no longer any objection to renaming the city in honor of a celebrity who had no contact with the city. Mauch Chunk got away with it, and Volgograd became Stalingrad without much dissent. We can do likewise and get away with it. Already our city honors Henry Clay who never set foot here. John Kennedy who stopped briefly at the Garfield Diner for a bowl of chicken noodle soup never did one lap in the pool that bears his name. Even Stooge Moe Howard has an Avenue named in his honor despite never playing the Hippodrome. Many influencial people now agree with me that Jerry Garcia would be a great choice for a new name. However PADCO has been informed that his remains are not for sale. No if, and or buts. So we may have to lower our expectations. All is not lost; the Grateful drummer's old drummer had also died. His name was Pigpen. That was not his baptismal name. I think it was Ron McNernan and I am sure his remains could be negotiated at a much lower cost to the taxpayers than Garcia although the name Pigpen, PA would take time getting used to.

So we need alternatives. Many want to go with the name of a deceased Native American or sports figure. Charismatic and heroic figures such as Crazy Horse, Squanto, and Geronimo are beyond our budget. Pocahantas would tie up the city in litigation for years with the Disney Corporation. Other names that come to mind are Jay Silverheels or the crying Indian from the "Keep America Beautiful" Ads or the Indian from the Village People. I am not sure if they are alive or dead.

Sports figures are too expensive. Darryl Stawberry maybe needs the money but he is still alive. We cannot wait. We need a new name now. I think our city coffer can only afford the likes of Gorgeous George, or Derby winner Secretariat. If we want to a local sports figure, Pottsville has produced Charles Guetling, who loaded up his wheelbarrow with a keg of beer from the Yuengling brewery. He pushed the wheelbarrow 880 miles to the Chicago's World's Fair. Maybe we can strick a deal with the Guetling estate?

San Francisco and Pottsville: Connected at birth?

This is another that appeared in the Pottsville Republican years ago. It actually is part one of the movement to change the name of Pottsville to something else.

To increase local tourism, our experts have been wasting their time comparing Pottsville with Jim Thorpe. A better comparison would be to compare Pottsville with San Francisco because of the striking similarities.

• San Francisco's rise to prominance was attributed to "gold" while Pottsville's rise was attributed to "black gold" or anthracite;



• Both cities have beautiful quaint homes built upon steep hills;



• San Francisco has its cable car, Pottsville has cable television;



• San Francisco has the Pacific Ocean, Pottsville has the Crimson tide and the Green wave;



• San Francisco's downtown was leveled by an earthquake, Pottsville's downtown was partially leveled to make room for parking lots;



• San Francisco has the "Cow Palace," Pottsville has "Bull's Head."



• San Francisco is located near Palo Alto, so is Pottsville;



• San Francisco has eccentrics filling its streets, Pottsville has ten times as many;



• San Francisco is noted for "acid rock" and Chinatown, Pottsville has "acid rain" and two Chinese restaurants;



• San Francisco is proud of the "Giants," Pottsville is proud of its "Giant" Supermarket.

The Carbon County seat however did have the courage years ago to acquire the remains of a deceased public figure and rename itself in his honor. Mauch Chunk became Jim Thorpe once the corpse arrived; the rest is history. Perhaps with the close connection between San Francisco and Pottsville the remains of a deceased San Franciscan musician could be purchased with the use of PADCO funds. Maybe if we are lucky Pottsville could become a more hip, "Jerry Garcia, Pennsylvania."