gone, baby, gone...

I stopped by St. George’s Church in Shenandoah the other week, before the ecclesiastical wrecking crew arrived. I was stunned by the magnificant gothic structure with its stone figurines looking down upon me. That it was going to be destroyed and leveled and left as a dirt lot was perplexing to me. The disemboweled church’s artistic and historic treasures --- the statues, the sacred vessels, the paintings, the antiques, the stained glass, the altar stone, etc. -- all paid for by the sweat and tears of mainly immigrant, anthracite coal miners -- were presumably being packed up and hauled away out of Schuylkill county. They may end up on Channel 44’s Antique Roadshow, Renninger's at Adamstown or on Ebay. Who knows?

Nothing is going to remain behind in Shenandoah as a reminder of this historical, ethnic and Catholic past. The higher-ups want no trace of the church’s existence to be left behind. Its treasury, together with its building improvement fund, has been long gone for some time. I guess that is a new twist on the Bishop’s Appeal Fund. I was also told by a reliable source that the plunder may also include the cemetery perpetual care funds, but I cannot verify that this, as there are no open discussions about what is going on or what the plans will be. I was told that there will be no keepsakes left behind. There was not even a small ceremony of deconsecration or farewell party held before the pillaging began.

I had thought it was Canon Law that a deconsecration service was required to be held, but I was wrong. There is no such requirement. Apparently the parishioners were simply told to get out and stay out. Someone told me that they were all given green plastic hats and instructed to march on over to the Annunciation Church and don't look back. The local historical societies were not given any invitation to copy any church records, or an opportunity to photograph or videotape the church’s interior for posterity.
The whole episode sort of reminds me of a combination of the Taliban in Afghanistan demolishing the Buddhist statues and the WWII Germans confiscating art work throughout Europe. At least the Russians did not raze the buildings when they closed the churches in eastern europe.
The United Nations has stated its recognition of the importance of the protection of cultural heritage and commits itself to fight against its intentional destruction in any form so that such cultural heritage may be transmitted to the succeeding generations. However this appreciation has fallen upon deaf ears around here. The oldest Lithuanian church in the United States is being obliterated. Just as the twin towers in New York came down, the twin towers of Shenandoah will be no more. The powers that be are similar to Stephen Girard and the other coal barons of the 19th century, extracting the wealth from the coal region to be used elsewhere. The powers that be were almost successful in annihilating every Lithuanian church in the county, but one got away - that one in Mahanoy City - and only because Mother Teresa inadvertently ruined their plans when she stopped by to purchase a take-out order of bleenies (limit six to a customer) and then decided to preach at that church. “Darn you, M T !” However the flattening of St. George’s and riddance of its existence makes up for “that one that got away.”
The church building was a cultural resource, a tangible link to Shenandoah’s past and Schuylkill County's past. The building provided information and knowledge in different areas such as art history, genealogy, and architecture. The building provided aesthetic value to that mining community, which will now probably be left with a vacant dirt lot, accumulating debris from the town’s Burger King customers. Lastly, the building could have been an economic resource if left to a viable cultural association.
It is somewhat contradictory that church-goers are taught to be respectful of worn-out, sacramental objects such as scapulars, bibles and rosary beads while at the same time the consecrated church building is being eradicated and leveled. The deconsecration process apparently consists of getting the proper permit from the borough and paying the haulers and demolition crews on time.
Isn’t it ironic that the decision to pulverize St. George’s was done on the watch of Bishop Edward Cullen? Assessment records of Avalon, Cape May County N.J., reveal that the ocean front property at 4660 Dune Dr. is deeded to an Edward P. Cullen (no title) with a value of $1.36 million. The tax bill had been sent to 2920 Chew St., Allentown, Pa., the residential address of the Bishop of the Diocese of Allentown, the Most Reverend Edward P. Cullen. The assessment records of Stone Harbor, Cape May County, N.J. reveal that Unit 201, Golden Shores Condominiums, 8001 Second Ave. is deeded to an Edward Cullen (no title) with a value of $600,000, and the tax bills were being sent to 4660 Dune Dr. Avalon. The assessment records of Lehigh County showed that a property at 3853 Larkspur Dr. Allentown, was deeded to a Most Reverend Edward P. Cullen, with a value of $390,000, and tax bills were being sent to P.O. Box F, Allentown, Pa., the address of the Chancery of the Diocese of Allentown. (information taken from the Allentown Morning Call).

Have you hugged your jury commissioner lately?

I scoured the paper from the front page to the classified section and found nothing besides finding out that it is easy to get a pet cat for free around here. However I was really talking about the recent jury commissioner election race.

Nothing. Nyet. Nada. Nix.

No wonder voter turnout dropped off this year. Not one mention of the candidates in the voter guide. But I cannot put all the blame on the newspapers. The official Schuylkill County Government Website lists all of the elected officials but not one mention of our elected Jury Commissioners. Yet the website still gives the long departed Judge Wilber Rubright a top billing.
Some complain that the jury commissioners are irrelevant in this day and age as they only stuff an envelope once or twice a year and get paid handsomely. Bucks County jury commissioners were pulling in about twenty grand a year for an hour or two of work. Not bad. Montgomery County pays their jury commissioners over thirty one grand a year plus over twenty grand in fringe benefits. I don’t know what they get paid in Schuylkill County since they have no real office and have no presence on the website. They retain a phantom-like existence around here.

I, for one, have always admired a jury commissioner and consider any attempt to abolish the office as an assault on our way of life. Yep, when I was in grade school, when others wanted to be a fireman, truck driver, or professional wrestler, I used to say that I wanted to be a jury commissioner. I wanted to wake up every morning and go out and do nothing.
Thankfully, jury commissioners still get a lot of respect in the coal region. Gerry Bonner, the Luzerne County Jury Commissioner, is under indictment by a federal grand jury for passing bribes; but that did not prevent him from getting re-elected with over 18,300 votes with the help of his party that campaigned for him despite the indictment. In Luzerne they get paid a paltry $10,000 per year plus benefits. Congratulations Gerry! You certainly can now use the salary to help pay for your defense costs.
It would be disgraceful for the position to be abolished and tossed aside like a like a no-longer-needed training bra or an eight-track player. What needs to be done is to get our jury commissioners some good public relations and get them out in the public doing something that at least has the illusion of productivity. Don’t hide them away any longer as if they were some of your embarrassing crazy relatives.
Yes, we all concede that they serve no real function. That is a given. However they are harmless, so why not let them free the county commissioners from pointless ceremonial affairs such as throwing out the first snowball at the Winter Carnival, kissing a burro at the Haven Burro Day, or marching in the annual Orthodox St. Patrick’s Day Parade. Let the jury commissioners act as a source of county and coal region pride.
I want you to write to the county webmaster and demand that these forgotten souls be listed as reigning county officials - and certainly ahead of any deceased public servants. If the webmaster refuses then demand that the Jury Commissioners get their own MySpace page – its free you know. Suggest a theme song so that the public can connect to them. Ask that they get special hats and uniforms with plenty of buttons and ribbons (that always makes the wearer look important). For crying out loud, give them an office somewhere. I think the courthouse clock tower would be perfect. If these suggestions were heeded, any costs would be repaid ten-fold by the tourists coming to the county to get a glimpse of the elusive jury commissioners, now treated as royalty as they wave out of the tower window to the crowds below.

polling results - we have a winner!

The "thing on Mahantongo Street" was declared to be a shade tree and will receive all of the perks that come with that designation as bestowed by the Pottsville Shade Tree Commission. *
Yes, the votes cast were underwhelming, but a certified tabulation by the Schuylkill County League of Women Voters In Crisis (a recent merger of two organization precipitated by the recent Commonwealth budget crisis).
Although not one vote was cast for “shade tree,” a plurality of the votes cast apparently determined the thing to be a “son of a beech.”

“A beech is a shade tree!” ruled the League of Women Voters In Crisis, "so a son of beech must also be a shade tree." Although there was apparent confusion over how trees reproduce.

Pottsville’s betting parlors were in a frenzy after the decision was announced; as the odds-on winner was projected to be “Its part of the recent Skankification project.”

“Election fraud!” was echoed through out the county, even in Frackville which has no trees. “What is this, Afghanistan Tehran or Luzerne County!”
Some argued that it was the butterfly ballot which made it difficult for many to determine that a vote for the European beech was a vote for “shade tree.”
“No one voted for shade tree. How on earth can a vote for a beech tree be tabulated as a vote for a shade tree?
"This is a sign or evidence of widespread rigging."
"The Rest Haven votes were not counted as the patients did not know how to turn on the computers."

"The write-in votes for bamboo cast on etch-a-sketches, and not computers, were thrown out."

Apparently two votes were cast for “Venus fly trap” causing the outrage over election irregularities to escalate. Many argued that these votes were cast due to the so-called “dimple vote” – the voter was not pressing hard enough on one of the other options and fingers slipped onto the “son of a beech tree” selection. The two who voted for Venus fly trap were also compared to those who voted for Ralph Nader in the 2000 presidential election - wasting a vote on a spoiler with no chance of winning.
The Schuylkill Haven Call editorialized that “fraud was so pervasive that nearly a quarter of all votes should be thrown out. Mammy Trout has admitted to voting at least three times. How could anyone think that the 800 block of Mahantongo Streer is harboring a Venus fly trap large enough to devour a dog, an innocent child or even the typically-sized man that frequents Renninger's Market on a Sunday morning in order to purchase his sticky buns?”
Some complained that many of those who cast a vote were probably under the influence and their votes should not count. All fingers pointed to Mammy Trout.

To them I say “this is America and the vote of a drunk is just as important as the vote of someone sober.”

Just remember; there were not “many” votes to begin with, only eleven.
Despite this controversy, “the thing on Mahantongo Street” will be sworn in officially as a protected street shade tree on January 20th in a pompous ceremony featuring the City Code Enforcement Office, a handful of Vulcans, the Tree Commission and the Third Brigade Band (playing “Tie A Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Beech Tree”), a large group of tourists visiting Yuengling Brewery, street people, and a few dogs. Until the dedication, the "shade-tree elect" will recieve round-the-clock protection from Pottsville's finest street crossing guards.

There will be no run-off election! Na da! The Schuylkill County League of Women Voters In Crisis will now focus its attention on the upcoming Jury Commissioner race which is too close to call.

*perks include Miracle-Grow and water

Shade Tree or Weed?

Pottsville’s street trees are now showing off their majestic autumn colors!

I took a few photographs around town and this is my favorite. Someone argued with me over whether it is a street tree or not. He said it was a weed…a tall two story weed. I disagreed. I told him there is a weed ordinance in the city that prohibits weeds from being more than one story tall. Another passerby chimed in and told me that whatever it is, it was planted during a city Skankification project and therefore it is to be revered. If I wanted to, I was told I could take a leaf and show it to Porcupine Pat who could determine the species. I am now confused, so I will go out on a limb and leaf it up to you, the readers. let's see what the poplar vote tells us. Oakey-dokey.

What the heck is that thing growing on the 800 block of Mahantongo Street? VOTE ON THE POLL FOUND TO THE RIGHT OF THE BLOG. No dangling chads please! Read the voting instructions prior to casting your vote.

Here is the city ordinance prohibiting weeds from growing more than one story tall:

It shall be the duty of every person who shall hold title in any capacity to or have possession of or be responsible for the management or upkeep of any land or lot of ground upon which any noxious weeds, as herein defined, may be growing in excess of one story in height to cut or destroy the same and also to prevent such weeds from flowering or going to seed and the seed of the same from ripening.

[Amended 6-12-2006 by Ord. No. 734]
Noxious weeds include burdock, chicory, crabgrass, garlic or wild onion, goldenrod, horse nettle, milkweed, morning glory, mullen, perennial thistle (including Canada, Russian, sow, bull and other thistles), poison ivy, quack grass, ragweed, sumac, wild carrot, wild lettuce, wild mustard, wild parsnip and wild snapdragon, and all other weeds and growths not herein specifically mentioned.