Courthouse Christmas Tree

The Court House Christmas Tree this year is a celebration of the county’s bicentennial as well as a loving salute to our vast number of municipal governments.

The Court House Christmas Tree Committee (CHCTC) has been scrutinizing the submission of ornaments from the various municipalities to be inducted onto a branch on this year’s tree. With so many local governments there is a concern that the tree would be incapable of holding the weight. At last count there were between 67 -253 officially sanctioned municipalities and governmental entities.
Sadly, Yorkville was not allowed to participate in the tree celebration. Yorkville’s controversial hand-painted ceramic Christmas ball featuring the likeness of the Burger King Restaurant was removed by deputy sheriffs after a protest was lodged by the City of Pottsville. It was wrestled to the ground and thrown in the Courthouse Dumpster. As you know, the City claims control of this contested territory as a result of a controversial election about one hundred years ago. If the Yorkville ornament remained on the tree, then Pottsville threatened to remove its numerous ornaments. The Pottsville ornaments are quite spectacular and include a replica of a purse once carried by Crazy Sarah and a string of popcorn. Not just any popcorn, but buttered popcorn that was found beneath the ruins of the Capitol Theatre.

Pottsville insists that Yorkville is an inalienable part of Pottsville and Pottville’s City Hall is the sole legal authority over the disputed territory. This authoritarian policy had created tension and saber-rattling in the neighboring municipalities of Mount Carbon, Palo Alto, Mechanicsville, Port Carbon and Shoentown; all of which still refuse to recognize the absorption of Yorkville into Greater Pottsville. These neighboring municipalities still recognize a free and independent Yorkville with its capital building at Lotz’s Café on West Market Street.

Incidentally, the third week in July is celebrated as Captive Municipalities Week in many of these places with speeches and parades promoting independence for such places as Yorkville, Rahn Township, Teaberry Hill, The Irish Flat’s, Altamont, Shenandoah’s First Ward, Smoketown, and Arnot’s Addition. Many of these captive municipalities have established governments in exiles, or shadow governments, with a headquarters at the Schuylkill Mall. If you stop by the Mall the headquarters is located near K-Mart. Inside the headquarters one can stop and talk to the various unofficial officials, their staff and solicitors. This year as a fund raiser you can get your child’s photo taken on the Mayor of Arnot’s Addition’s lap.

Now back to the tree. Some ornaments were immediately rejected, such as Mount Carbon’s submission of two of its residents (who were supposedly “lit up like Christmas Trees” after leaving the Brett Michael’s concert). In their place, the Court house accepted an old Bavarian Beer bottle cap. The West Penn Township’s donation of a Pontiac hood ornament from its local auto junk yard was approved after the County’s Office of Weights and Measures got its scale out and declared the weight to be acceptable. The hood ornament is now on the fifth branch from the top (east side).

Alcoholic submissions got mixed signals. Porter Township’s submission of a bottle of Porter Ale was approved after the Treasurer’s Office gave a five cent deposit on the bottle’s safe return. Walker Township’s bottle of Johnny Walker Whiskey was deemed too heavy and mysteriously vanished, only to reappear a day later... but now empty.

From the trout family to all of youse:
Merry/Happy: Select one: __Christmas, __Hanukah, __Festivus,__ Kwanzaa,__ Solstice, __Boxing Day,___ (generic) Holiday... And to all a good night.