Schuylkill County Ukrainian Heritage: What you can do

 

                                             Ukrainian Crisis: What Can I Do

Schuylkill County has a small population but one with a large percentage of inhabitants of Ukrainian heritage.  Now Ukraine is under attack from cranky Vladimir Putin.  He is a man born cranky but recently after his girlfriend, gymnast Alina Kaebava,  supposedly gave birth to his twins in 2019 it is taking a toll on him and he is taking it out on his innocent neighbors.  The twins’ terrible twos would take a toll on me also, but I would never think of invading Mount Carbon, Port Carbon, and Palo Alto, despite the deep historic ties those places have to the City of Pottsville.  But then I can’t invade as I am not the mayor of Pottsville with the police and fire department under my control. 

So, I sit here wondering what to do.  At first, I started a boycott against importing Russian mail-order brides from the internet.  There are so many other foreign brides available so any hardship is minimal.  Russian mail-order brides are hard to return, even with Amazon Prime subscription.  

Then I upped the ante by taking all my Russian Matroshka nesting dolls and crushing them one by one, starting with the largest and working my way down to the little detka inside.  It gave me a great feeling of accomplishment.  I threw them all in my wood burner along with my old VHS tape of ‘Dr. Zhivago,’ my paperback copy of ‘Lolita’ and my wall posters of Boris Badinov, Natasha, Natalie Wood and Yul Brynner.  My walls are now bare.  

Such sacrifice and it made a great Tick Tock with over one million views by bored, shallow people. 

     I then ran to my bar and spilled out all of my vodka but was told by Mammy Trout that Nikolai vodka is made in Kentucky!  It is not Russian!  All these decades I was drinking Nikolai under false pretenses!  I immediately got a sponge to retrieve the precious fluids and refill most of my bottles.  The alcohol will kill any bacteria. After the clean-up I called the local bars, taverns and bistros to demand that ‘Moscow Mule’ cocktail be renamed the ‘Minersville Jackass’ cocktail.  It sounds more patriotic and reminds me of someone.  However, all the bars, taverns and bistros have my number blocked so I couldn’t get through.  

     The Pottsville Soup Kitchen, however, took my advice and cancelled “All-You-Can Eat Borsht Night.”  Schuylkill Countians loves “all-you-can-eat” menus.  I know, I do.  It helps make our county so special.  Lastly, I cancelled our planned family B&B staycation in Arnot’s Addition.  We we were going to take in the L.A. Dance Studio’s yearly Nutcracker performance and take Russian squat dance lessons. The family that squat dances together, stays together. 

Despite feeling great about my actions, I felt that there was more I could do.  I then researched and found that I could donate to humanitarian causes to help alleviate the suffering.  Why it doesn’t get me more tick tock views, it probably does more good.  So why don’t you try it. I just did.  Here is a list of charities vetted by Charity Navigator as legitimate with high standards and I am a man of high standards as I, many years ago, purchased and returned two Russian mail-order brides using Amazon Prime (not at the same time):

UKRAINIAN RELIEF     Click the link to the left!

Your contribution will help  - even though you don't get tick tock followers.